Mistral Wind
by What About Love
Summary: The Mistral Wind is a strong, cold, and dry wind that sweeps to the coast of the Mediterranean Sea, usually lasting several days. However, it eventually ceases.
1. Chapter 1

She smiled at the moon, shining innocently above her as she held Jack's hand and led her friends into her home. They had taken her out drinking after her husband's funeral, celebrating his life. It was a sweet gesture, and she was thankful that they cared so much, but she was fine. If she had to be honest, she wasn't really that upset. She had lost her husband, and of course it was very tragic, but her love for him had died when he was arrested, and it never returned. She barely even knew him.

They all changed into their pajamas, and Jack insisted that they play in Karen's wardrobe. She laid upon a lounge chair, Will's head on her lap, as they lazily watched their friends play with her clothes, trying on scarves and such. She and Will had gotten closer during her divorce and Stanley's death, and it was no longer unusual for them to be so close. She ran her fingers through his hair and took another sip of her beer.

"Oh, Jack, what's that on your arm?" Grace stopped her giggling for a moment and pointed to a bruised spot on his Antecubital.

"I got my STD testing done a few days ago. You know, just for kicks. Every five guys I make sure I'm still clean."

"Oh my God, me too!" They giggled and continued joking around about socialites and their oddities.

Will moved a bit and looked into her eyes. He looked sleepy, and she smiled at the effect the alcohol had taken on him. She handed him her bottle of beer and he took a sip before setting it on the table next to them.

"I'm going to assume Jack is fine? He tells you everything." She smiled and nodded at his question. Jack had called her as soon as he got the results of the testing, as per her request, and he was indeed healthy. "Last time I had one of those, the nurse kept jabbing me with the needle. It hurt like hell." She giggled a bit, softly.

"I've never had one." And she hadn't. She never felt the need to do so when she was always faithful to her husbands.

"Really?" His voice became louder and she rolled her eyes. Yes, he was definitely drunk. Then the interest of their friends suddenly peaked. Jack suggested that they all add up their sexual partners from over the years.

She watched as her friends' faces contorted in thought. It was odd to her that they actually had to think about it, actually had to count. She already knew she had only been with four men in her life, if she didn't count the girl who went down on her in college. One college professor and three husbands had been with her, simple. Grace giggled and announced her number: twenty-seven. Jack's was thirty. Will smiled and revealed that he had only been with one woman and six men. They laughed and made fun of him, for various reasons, but he responded that they were only childish.

"So, Karebear, what's your number?" She faltered for a moment, unprepared to reveal her answer. They saw her as a promiscuous being, a woman who was some sort of sexual goddess, but she just wasn't. She was good at it, and she knew that, but it wasn't something she wanted to do with every person she met, and she hadn't.

"Oh, Poodle, I'll let you guess." She smiled and he giggled a drunken giggle.

"Forty-five." She laughed, pushing his knee. "More?" She took a drink of her beer and sighed. They awaited her response, and she felt her cheeks turn pink at the fact that all eyes were on her.

"Why would I tell you when you will just make fun of me for something that shouldn't be used as a bragging right?"

"You're a virgin?" Will's question made them laugh, but it didn't take their conversational topic away. She decided to just get it over with.

"Four." They laughed. She hated that they laughed.

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She was on her balcony, smoking a cigarette after her friends had passed out in her bed. Her husband was dead. She didn't miss him, but the idea that she had to start over again gave her chills. A nervous feeling overtook her for a moment and she suddenly felt that she needed a cigarette, even though she rarely smoked.

"What are you doing out here?" Will's voice found her, making her jump a bit. She turned to look at him, shrugging. His eyes were a bit red, but he looked sober, and he took a seat on a lounge chair next to hers.

"I was just thinking."

"Thinking about Stan?"

"Not really, honey. I don't want to bore you." She smiled and put out her cigarette in an ashtray.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know." That was one of the things she liked about a friendship with Will, he actually cared. While she was always trying to avoid speaking about problems and thoughts, he was always trying to bring them into the open.

"I'm just wondering where I'll go from here."

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Another bar, another night out with her friends, but she didn't feel much like partying. It was always the same with the four of them, more or less. They either went to Will's apartment for dinner and movies or out to a bar. She enjoyed going to his apartment much more than bars, if she had to be honest. It wasn't about partying around others, dancing and carrying on, but about the time she could spend with her friends. She sometimes felt that she was a little too old for the bar scene.

It didn't used to be that way. When she first met them she enjoyed going out and making a complete fool of herself, it was fun. No, the change happened when Stan was arrested. It didn't feel fun anymore. Instead, she saw bar-hopping as a waste of her time. She began staying home more often, watching a bit more television, and sometimes staying in bed all day. Then she had to wonder, what in life wasn't a waste of time?

"Hey, baby." A man came to sit next to her at the bar, smiling sickly as he placed his hand upon the flesh of her thigh. She began to think that her skirt may have been too short for the place they chose, his hand was touching her bare skin. "What do you say you and I…"

"Get your hand off me and get lost." Her voice was cold, and she pushed his hand away with force. She met his eyes, venom shining behind her own, and he seemed surprised.

"Excuse me?"

"I said get lost." She turned to face him a bit more. "Do you really think that's the way to get into my pants? You're rude and offensive, and your shirt is too small. So take a hike."

"Listen here, bitch, I have half a mind to…"

"Well, get out of here and find the other half!" Will walked up behind her and placed a hand upon her back, looking to protect her if she needed it. The man was shocked, angry, his mouth in a firm line, as he backed away from the scene. "Oh, honey, I think I'm going to call it a night." She stood from her chair, but her legs buckled beneath her. Will caught her arm before she could fully stumble, and he began to laugh.

"I can't believe Karen Walker is drunk." She rolled her eyes and stood upon her shaky feet.

"I'm not drunk. Just a little buzzed." He laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, leading her to the exit.

"Actually, I was coming to get you. We all decided to spend the night at my place. You want to come over?" She didn't even need time to think. His apartment always seemed more like home than hers, anyway.

"Of course, Mary. You better be cooking breakfast, though, or the deal is off."


	2. Chapter 2

She awoke in a soft embrace and immediately knew it was Jack. His hand rested upon her stomach and his breath tickled her ear as he held her, so protectively. She opened her eyes after a moment of bliss to find that they were nestled upon Will's couch, covered in a heavy blanket. His lips touched her earlobe, and she giggled a bit as his kisses covered her face.

"Oh, Karebear, I love waking up with you." He nuzzled her ear and she smiled, finding his baby blue eyes with her own.

"How did we both end up on the couch, honey?" She sat up and took a deep breath, wishing her body would awaken more quickly. She had never been a morning person.

"Well, you were looking kind of down so I stayed over here with you instead of going home." She poured herself a glass of orange juice, not even bothering to put vodka in it at the moment. For some reason, alcohol wasn't as fun as it used to be.

"Aw, that's sweet, but you could have just left." He walked over to where she stood and she gave him a sip of her juice.

"No vodka?" She rolled her eyes.

"I don't feel much like spiking my orange juice."

"Can I ask you a question?" She nodded and he smiled a bit, maybe hoping to ease her mind. "How are you, since Stan's gone, really?"

"Actually, honey, I'm fine. I feel kind of like he died a long time ago."

"That's so morbid, Kare. Maybe you need to get laid."

"Is that your answer for everything?" She laughed as Will emerged from the bathroom, having just taken a shower.

"Well, it solves my problems." Jack shrugged and pecked her lips before heading to the bathroom. Will smiled his good morning toward Karen and began to prepare breakfast, eggs, toast and bacon.

She walked into the kitchen and sat on the counter next to the sink, watching him cook. There was no doubt that he was very skilled in the kitchen. His hands seemed to move so meticulously that she could tell he was a master in his art. And his results proved her right.

"Will, did you ever take any cooking classes?" His eyes met hers as he turned around to face her, stunned for a moment. It wasn't often that she asked questions that had no hidden agenda. After a moment of shock, he shook his head and grabbed the bottle of orange juice. He refilled her glass from which she had been drinking and answered her question.

"The nanny when I was a kid used to be our maid too. She insisted that if I ever wanted to get married then I would need to help around the house sometimes. If she only knew…" He laughed and continued cooking, but all she could do was continue to watch the way his hands moved across the counter, so sensually.

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She bit her lip and contemplated her life, if only for a moment. She wasn't certain about anything anymore. The future, the past, the present, nothing at all could be predicted, and, if she had to be honest, she was a bit afraid. Life was moving on, but she was stuck. She wanted to feel different, freer even.

She sighed heavily before standing and walking to the overstuffed chair next to the coffee maker. Grace was at lunch so she didn't think she would be disturbed. She sat backwards in the chair and threw her feet over the headrest, allowing her head to lie on the footstool. She knew that she probably looked foolish, as if she were doing some strange sort of ritual, but she just needed to look at her feelings differently. She didn't like the way she was thinking at her desk, so she switched it up a bit.

It wasn't as if she could just say she wanted something particular and decided to work for it, there was nothing. She felt empty and useless. Why was it that all the men in her life left her, cheated on her? Was she that undesirable? Was she unremarkable? The questions would have to be answered by someone else because she thought change in her life was unnecessary.

"Karen, are you dead?" Grace walked into her office and stopped quickly. Her assistant had been doing such strange things lately, but it surprised her to see Karen in such a classless position. She could see the skin of her thighs over the lace of her stockings.

"I wish." She rolled her eyes and walked to her crowded desk, but Karen remained.

"If you're going to be strange, why don't you just go home? What if a client walked in and saw you like that?"

"Grace no one has been here today. We should just close." She rolled off the chair and stood, straightening out her skirt with her palms.

"I'm going to make a suggestion to you." She stopped and faced her friend, realizing how serious she was. She nodded and tilted her head to the side. "Okay, I know you've been really down for a while, and I think maybe you should see your shrink."

She immediately felt insulted. How dare Grace suggest that she needed help? Her eyes narrowed and she scoffed, offended. It wasn't until she stormed out of the office with her purse on her shoulder that she realized that perhaps Grace was right. Maybe she did need to talk to someone, but it wasn't going to be a shrink.

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"Its not that I'm lonely, necessarily, I just don't know where to go from here. I mean, I don't have any skills, or family, but I do have my friends. I guess that's good for something. Oh, but, honey, they are so young still. I feel like I can't keep up. Take Jack, for example, he's a feisty little queen. Always going out to bars and having sex with men, and I just can't do that. I just…"

"Mrs. Walker, I don't mean to sound as if I don't care, but why don't you talk to your friends about this?" She scoffed and pushed her glass across the bar.

"Because, Smitty, you aren't selfish like they are. You listen to me when I speak, whether you want to or not." He nodded and poured her another martini. As she took a sip, he watched her eyes. He had been around a lot of people over the years, drinking different emotions away and such, but there was something different about her. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it was definitely something so desolate that she couldn't even describe it to him.

"You mean to tell me that you don't have one friend who will listen to your problems?" He leaned against the bar and her hazel eyes met his gently. She looked tired.

It had always been jokes with the bartender. She never wanted any kind of friendship with him, never expected one, but he had been a constant in her life for so long that she began to think he knew some things about her. She gave him a small smile and shrugged.

"Maybe you're the only one, honey."

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He walked into a bar she frequented most and looked around. It was dark, yet empty, and he couldn't see where she was. Jack walked into the bar behind him and coughed a bit at the smell of smoke.

"So, what exactly did Smitty say when he called?" Will rolled his eyes and continued to look.

"First, his name is not Smitty. And second, he said that she seemed way more real than usual. I think it freaked him out a little." Jack pointed to the barstool in a corner where Karen was sitting. Her arms were crossed upon the bar and she was asleep, her head down. "There she is."

They walked over to her, but the bartender made certain they were the friends he had phoned almost twenty minutes before. When she passed out he took it upon himself to take her phone from the place next to her and find the name of one of her mentioned friends. He couldn't just allow her to leave alone.

Will began to shake her, but she didn't budge. He said her name, patting the pale skin of her upper arm with his hand. Jack found a waiter who he thought was cute, so he followed the employee to the other side of the bar for a moment. Smitty watched the scene unfold before him, saddened by the idea that she felt so lost, he could tell.

"Will? What the hell are you doing here?" She awoke and pushed him away. He was a little too close for her liking.

"You're passed out on the bar. We're here to take you back to my apartment."

"Get away from me. I'm going home." She tried to stand, but her legs buckled beneath her and she stumbled. Luckily for her, Will wrapped his arms around her waist and saved her from her fall. She ran a hand through her hair and stopped her mask from rising and showing anger.

"Please come with me and Jack." She nodded, and Jack gathered her belongings while Will walked her towards the door. Before they could leave, though, she turned for one last look at the bartender.

"Thanks, Smitty." He nodded and waved goodbye as her friends helped her to the limo, which they took to Will's apartment.


	3. Chapter 3

She awoke with a startle, jumping a bit. Her head hurt, so she didn't open her eyes. Was it a hangover? It hadn't happened in a long while, but she was definitely not a stranger to the feeling. Something that was strange to her, however, was the bed. It was a smell that was familiar, but she couldn't exactly say to whom it belonged. Was she in some strange man's bed?

Her eyes burst open and she looked around for a moment. The red walls stared back at her and a picture of her with her friends was hanging upon the wall. She immediately realized that she was in Will's bedroom, and she rolled over to see if he was in bed with her. A sigh of relief escaped her lips when she found herself alone, the sheets on the other side of the bed hadn't even been rustled.

Memories of the night before began to stream back into her mind, and it took her a moment to understand that her bartender had been the reason she found a place to sleep. She looked at her watch, still on her wrist from the night before, and discovered that it was only eight in the morning. She groaned and sat upright, knowing that she had to get home and change her clothes before work.

She stood upon her shaky feet and began walking towards the bedroom door. When she walked into the living room area she found Will sleeping on the couch. It was then she realized that it was Saturday. She didn't have to go to work, nor be awake so early, but why was he the one on the couch?

She walked over to him, looking down at his sleeping form. She wanted to thank him for coming to get her, helping her, and allowing her to stay in his bed. A deep breath escaped his lips and he sighed in his sleep. She smiled. He looked so peaceful to her, a look of contentment playing with his features. After a moment of observation, she leaned down and placed a small kiss to his cheek, running a hand over his hair. It was out of character, but she couldn't help herself. He just looked too peaceful to ignore the slight blush on his cheeks from sleep, so charming.

Suddenly, Jack walked out of the guestroom, the waiter from the bar walking behind him. It became clear to her why Will was on the couch. Jack's apartment was being sprayed for bugs, and he was staying in Grace's old bedroom. He told his 'friend' goodbye and walked him to the door before he finally addressed her.

"Morning, Karebear. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, honey. Who was that?"

"Ah, number thirty-one." She rolled her eyes and found her purse and shoes. "You're leaving?"

"Yeah, I need to sleep. Listen, could you tell Will I'll call him later?"

"Sure. Love ya."

"You too, Poodle."

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Her heels clicked loudly against the hard wood of the floor on her way to Grace's office. There was something about Monday mornings that annoyed her. It was the idea of breaking a perfectly fine weekend with work, or having to use an alarm clock that made her want to throw the clock across the room.

"Karen?" She would have never expected to see him again in her life, but there he was standing next to Grace, looking over design schemes. If she hadn't been able to keep up her mask she may have turned and ran, but instead she sat her purse next to her desk and maintained the gaze she shared with him.

"Hi, Steve, how's Laura?" She raised her eyebrows and took a seat at her desk, pulling out a magazine.

"Right down to business, huh? She left me for a younger man. Divorce was final last week."

"Well, now you know how it feels to be cheated on, honey. Good for you." She smiled and suddenly felt better about herself. It was as if hurting him was a nice way to ease a bit of anger she felt at the idea of a Monday morning.

"You really haven't changed, have you?" Grace interrupted after a moment of bantering, wondering how the two knew each other. She felt completely in the dark, and it was time to pull up the shades.

"Okay, how do you know each other?" Karen smiled, a bit fake for her liking.

"Well, he was my first husband, Gracie."

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She was thankful that he didn't stay long. However, she was not thankful that he needed his entire apartment redecorated by Grace. It was a large space, and it would be a pretty timely project. If she had to be honest, she never wanted to see his face again.

It all came back to her in a flash, his memory and the demise of their marriage. He had cheated on her with a woman named Laura, and she quickly filed for divorce. He was the first man she had ever really let into her heart, and he hurt her more than she would ever be able to describe. A part of her was eternally broken when she found that woman in her bed, and she was well aware that it could never be repaired.

Her relationship had set the bar for who she would grow to become, how she would live her life. She had been through many things with him. Her first love, her first heartbreak, her miscarriage, and he had also taught her what it meant to care for someone else. She had actually been a housewife for a few months when she couldn't find a job, and she had him to thank for the knowledge she had about a few household chores, like she would actually use that knowledge.

"I'm so sorry, Kare. I never would've taken him as a client if I knew he was your ex-husband."

"Honey, its okay. I'm sure neither of us still dwells on the past. You keep that job, because he's loaded." She winked at her friend, hoping her ease her nerves a bit. It surprised her to learn how concerned with her mental health Grace was. It wasn't until Will walked in with one of his lame jokes that she felt her day lighten, for whatever reason. Life simply continued.


	4. Chapter 4

Will and Karen were in her library, going over a few papers for Walker Inc. It was near six o'clock in the evening. They had been reading and working on contracts for two hours, and she had quickly tired of it. She groaned and lay back against the couch when he began to read another piece of paper.

"Oh, Will, how can you stand looking at all these damn numbers every day? I can't take it anymore." He ran his hands over his face and sighed.

"The faster we go over these, the faster we'll be finished." He sounded tired so she sat up and directed her attention toward the paper in his hands. She moved closer to read over his shoulder, as he was sitting next to her on the couch, and she blinked heavily. She was tired, but his presence was oddly welcoming. There was something about Will that was always comforting to her. He was warm, sensitive, and he wore cologne that could melt anyone's heart.

She took a deep breath of his scent, completely forgetting about the contract in his hands. He had loosened his tie a bit, and she could see the tanned flesh of his collarbone. She resisted the urge to reach out and touch him, testing for the softness she could see with her eyes. He turned his head to look at her when she didn't respond to a question, obviously frustrated with her lack of attention to the task at hand, but she was very close when he met her eyes. He looked into the hazel pools of her whole essence and paused for a moment. All frustration was gone as he suddenly saw her as a woman, not just Karen.

They sat, staring for what seemed like an eternity. She could feel her heart flutter as their lips slowly inched closer. His breath was hot and heavy as it hit her awaiting lips, making her hands shake in anticipation. His fingertips slid along the side of her thigh as he leaned closer, so slowly. As soon as their top lips touched, and their kiss connected, her phone rang. The spell was broken. They jumped apart, and she took a deep breath, sighing.

"I, um…"

"Yeah…" Neither of them knew what to say. Nothing like that had ever happened to them before, and it was intimidating. She gave a small smile and stood from her seat.

"You know, honey, maybe we could finish this later."

"Right. I'll call you." He hurriedly gathered his papers and shoved them into his briefcase, rushing out the door with a muffled goodbye. As he left the room she leaned her back against the door, a deep breath escaping her lips as her hand clasped against her chest.

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She was leaned back in her chair, filing her nails. Her nerves were severely damaging her mood, and she was trying her best not to drink. Since the last time she passed out at the bar, she had taken a harder look at her life. Booze didn't sound as much fun all of a sudden. She groaned as she accidentally dropped her emery board on the floor beneath her desk.

She stood and bent over, holding herself steady by her chair as she reached for the object. Just as she reached around the file, a strong hand came to rest upon her buttocks, giving a swift squeeze. She gasped and quickly lifted her head only to slam it against the bottom side of her desk.

"Damn it!" She stood to her full height and placed her hand on the back of her head. She began to yell at Jack for surprising her, but her mouth momentarily failed to form words when she saw Steve smiling, her ex-husband of fifteen or so years. "Are you fucking crazy? Learn to keep your hands to yourself you pervert." He only laughed. She hated that he laughed.

"Oh, lighten up, Kare. You've lost your sense of humor."

"I've lost my patience." She walked over to the mini-bar and pulled out a bottle of vodka. Suddenly, she didn't care about her mental pledge to stop drinking. She felt that she needed it when he was around. "And don't call me 'Kare.' We're barely acquaintances, honey."

"We're barely acquaintances? We were married for five years."

"Fifteen years ago."

"That doesn't matter." She took a long drink from the bottle as he watched in disbelief. He didn't remember her drinking much when they were together, besides the occasional beer or glass of wine. "Listen, I was wondering if you'd go to dinner with me. I think it'd be fun to catch up on old times."

"Old times died a long time ago, honey. No thanks." After another long drink from her bottle of vodka, he took it from her hands. She tried to grab for it, but he held it above his head. "What are you, a child? Give it back."

"Go to dinner with me, just once. Please." He pouted his bottom lip, and her eyes narrowed. She jumped a bit to reach for the drink, but he was still much taller than her. "Say yes, and you can have it."

"Fine. Now give me the damn bottle." She continued to reach, but he still didn't give in.

"I'll pick you up at seven tonight. Wear something low cut." He handed her the bottle and she scoffed.

"You're a pig."

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"So, he just died without warning?"

"Oh, who cares?" She took a sip of her wine and sighed. It was something about which she was tired of speaking. "What about Laura?"

"I never realized how bad it hurts when you're cheated on until it happened to me. It really makes you think about things, you know?" She nodded and the waitress placed the check on the table. It had been two hours since they arrived at the restaurant, and she couldn't believe that she was actually having a good time. It wasn't the same as it used to be, each of them had been pained and numbed by the world in their own ways, but their emotional connection was still strong. She reached for the check, but his hand rested atop hers, stalling her motion and sending a jolt through her stomach. "It's on me, babe."

"No, I'll get it." She pulled the ticket away and placed her credit card in the holder.

"I'll feel guilty taking your money if I'm going to get into your pants tonight. I'll feel like a whore." He smiled, but she didn't find it at all funny. He rolled his eyes, reaching for her hand across the table. She pulled away, cringing. "I was only joking."

"You're disgusting, Steve." She stood to leave after the waitress returned her card, leaving a generous tip, but he was fast to follow her. They made it to the sidewalk before he began to speak.

"Why is it that all you ever say to me is how disgusting I am?"

"Are you implying that you aren't?"

"You used to think I was funny."

"Well, now I think you're revolting." He laughed at her bitterness, taking her hand in his. She pulled away once again. "Stop trying to touch me, honey. I only agreed to come here with you tonight because you wouldn't give me back my vodka. Now, will you please take me home? I'm tired." He nodded and they were soon in his car, on their way to her manse.


	5. Chapter 5

He pumped hard into her body as she wrapped him tight in an embrace, finishing only seconds before. She sighed loudly as he collapsed on top of her sweaty body. Her legs were tight around his waist, and his heat was felt deep inside. His lips found hers, and he ran his hands through her hair, connecting their tongues in a gentle dance. He began to kiss down the side of her neck, holding her tightly.

"Oh, Kare, you're so beautiful." She took his compliment, but felt as if it were a routine sentence that passed through his lips every time he was with someone. She pecked his lips and he pulled out of her, flopping down against the mattress of her large featherbed.

She could've killed herself for what she had just done. Sleeping with a stranger was one thing, it wouldn't have been as big of a deal because there would've been no meaning, but sleeping with an ex-husband was a whole different problem. It wasn't quite clear to her why she did it, but he surprised her with a kiss at her door, and she led him inside. She allowed him to pull her dress over her head and take her as soon as he could. After a bit of thought she began to understand why she did it, more or less. It had just been so long since someone touched her, since someone wanted to, and it just felt so good to be touched and caressed. Her body wouldn't let her say no.

After a moment she looked over to where he lay, staring at her. A frown took possession of her face, and her eyes were heavy. He began to close his eyes and pull her close, but she pushed him away.

"You can't stay here."

"Why not?"

"Because, honey, I want to be alone." He didn't move, only looked deep into her hazel eyes. "Please go."

"But, I want to be here. I like spending time with you." She scoffed, her voice finding the harshness of her mental state.

"How could you? I'm a bitch. Don't you get it?"

"Karen…"

"I want to be alone."

"You're lying. You don't want to be alone; you're just scared to be with someone."

"You got what you wanted from me. Leave." She tried to get out of bed, but he pulled her to him, lying on his back and holding her close on top of him. She squirmed to get away, but he was too strong. "Get your fucking hands off me!"

"Shut up!" She gasped, but stopped moving. "Karen, I know that you haven't had the best luck with relationships, but you have to let people in. You're so scared to get close to people that you shut everyone out. You're such a wonderful person if you just open up and show it. I never stopped loving you, but you made it so hard that I couldn't do it anymore. Stop being so bitter and start living again. You used to be so full of life."

"You think you can just come back into my life, screw me, and then tell me how to live. You are nothing to me, and you have no control. I hate you. Leave." She tried to get away, but he again stopped her, rolling over and pinning her beneath his weight. She only struggled for a moment before feeling the warmth of his body and words. Suddenly, she burst into tears, pulling him close.

It was the first time she had cried since Stan's death, but it wasn't for him. It was for her, what had become of her life. She certainly wasn't in love with Steve, but the love they had carried in a form of friendship when they were together was still there. She cried for failures, sins and mistakes, but she knew he was right. It was time to start doing the things she wanted to do. She was going to live freely, and she planned on following her heart no matter what it told her to do, even though the journey to better mental health would be long.

"Are you alright?" He wiped a few tears from her face. She nodded.

"I will be, honey." He rolled off her and rested his head against the pillow. She looked into the green of his eyes and turned on her side to take his hand in her own. "Would you stay tonight?"

"Only if you really want me to."

"I do." She licked her lips, deciding that she needed to be honest with him if they could rebuild any sort of friendship. "Steve, I didn't mean to lead you on, but I don't really feel like we should do this again."

"I know what you mean. Don't worry about it, babe. Just get some sleep." She nodded, and he placed a small peck upon her lips.

It was the first time she cried since her husband's death, and made love to someone, but it was also the first time she got a full night of sleep. It was the night she felt her life begin again.

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"Good morning, Gracie." She walked into the office and sat at her desk. It was around eleven in the morning, and it was a surprise to each of them that she arrived before noon.

"What are you doing here so early?" Grace smiled as her assistant flipped open a magazine. She hadn't been looking through magazines so much since her husband's passing, and it was nice to see her going back to an old routine. She also had a sort of glow about her features, a sparkle that no one had seen in a long while.

"Oh, I just felt like coming in early. So, honey, what's on the agenda today?"

"Well, I have a client coming in after lunch, and Steve should be here any minute to approve some designs schemes. Oh, and Will, Jack and I were wondering if you want to go out clubbing with us tonight."

"Sure, honey, I'd love to." Jack burst through the door and flounced over to her desk, placing a kiss to her cheek. "Hi, Poodle."

"You'd love to what? Are you going out with us?" She nodded and he clapped his hands, smiling. After a moment of looking at her, he stopped clapping. "Oh, Karebear…"

"What?" She was nervous. Whenever he had that look on his face, the tone to his voice, she knew the conversation couldn't be too comfortable. A bright smile lit his face.

"You got laid this weekend." She rolled her eyes. "Who was it?"

"It's nothing, okay?" Grace walked over to her desk, suddenly intrigued by the conversation.

"Come on, Kare, who'd you do?"

"Me." Steve walked through the door, and all eyes turned towards him, shocked. "Good morning, ladies." They looked back to Karen. It was as if they were unable to form words. Karen only shrugged.

"Just welcoming him to the city."


	6. Chapter 6

She had a headache, the music was too loud. Her heels clicked against the metal bars on the bottom of her barstool as she shifted in her seat. It had been a good day, full of happiness, but she felt that something was missing that night. Of course she didn't expect to just fall into a routine of happiness all of a sudden, but she wanted to feel different and new.

As she looked over the dance floor she found the faces of her friends, each dancing with their own newfound "friend." She didn't like to dance like that, it made her feel strange. She was a dancer when she was young, but that was ballet so there was certain elegance about it, but grinding her pelvis against a complete stranger's wasn't very appealing. She would've much rather danced with Jack, but there was no way he was putting his sexuality behind closed doors to dance with her.

"Are you feeling alright?" She jumped, blinked hard, before coming face to face with Will. He could see the shock in her eyes, and he smiled. "I didn't mean to scare you. You just look a little down."

"I'm fine, honey. Go ahead and dance." Her smile was fake, and he could tell, but he didn't exactly want to push the issue. Nobody pushed Karen Walker into anything, and he was well aware of that fact. Instead of trying to get her to speak, he took the stool next to her and ordered a drink.

"I think I'm going to sit out for a while. It's hot in here."

"Well, with all the sweaty people in here no wonder it's hot." She turned to face the bar in front of them, also gaining better access to make eye contact with her friend. His eyes were sparkling, probably from the alcohol, but he made her smile for a moment.

"Why don't you get out there and dance? I don't think I've ever seen you do it." She gave a small scoff, halfway to a chuckle. She bit her lip for a moment, wondering whether or not she really wanted to have a real conversation. Small talk sounded just fine to her.

"I don't really know how."

"What? Jack said you used to be a dancer when you were a teenager." Then he stopped for a moment, leaning closer to whisper into her ear. He took on an ounce of seriousness for his question. "It wasn't, like, exotic dancing was it?"

"Ballet." She nudged his arm with her wrist and giggled a bit. It was slightly amusing to her that he honestly thought she was that kind of woman. But if she had to think about it, he didn't really know her that well. He knew what she showed to the world, and maybe just a bit deeper, but he had no idea what kind of person she was. In his eyes, he really could've thought she had been an exotic dancer. "It's a little different."

"Let me show you." He took her hand, but she resisted when he began to pull her with him as he stood.

"I really can't, honey. Besides, the gays here might think you're straight. You can say goodbye to you chances of getting lucky tonight if you dance with me." He only smiled and leaned closer to her face. She took a deep breath.

"All these guys are too flamboyant for me. And, I want to dance with you. Please, Kare?" She had never seen that side of him before, it was different. It felt as if he actually wanted to spend time with her, dance with her, even though she knew he was drunk. She bit her lip and stood, his hand pulling her with him to the dance floor.

Quickly she was almost knocked over by constant movement of other people, who obviously didn't care who they bumped into. Will took her in his arms, and their stomachs roughly slammed together. He held her hips with his hands as his moved in rhythm with the music, she soon followed. Her small hand ran up his chest, almost sensually as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

It was hot, no doubt about it, and she could barely catch her breath. But strangely enough it wasn't the room that was making her begin to sweat; it was her close proximity with Will. His body was tense and muscular against hers, the epitome of what a man should be, in her eyes. His muscles moved beneath her hands as she began to feel more comfortable against his body, touching him more intimately than she would have ever expected to touch him. She wasn't sure if he felt it too, but she was actually getting turned on by dancing with him.

At least she was good at hiding her emotions, because she feared it would scare him away, and she definitely wanted a bit more time in his arms. She cleared her voice when as slow song interrupted the loud thumping of sensual music, and she pulled away. Her thoughts were beginning to make her feel awkward. She had to remind herself that it was only Will, her gay friend.

"I think I'm finished, honey. Thanks." She smiled and began to walk back to her stool, but he pulled her back to him. She was shocked, to say the least, but allowed him to pull her close again to speak into her ear over the music.

"Just one more?" She nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck as they swayed to the slower tune. Maybe a bit more time wouldn't harm, especially since he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he encouraged it. And she suddenly realized that she felt lighter than before, jittery as well. Maybe life really was just about learning how to dance.


	7. Chapter 7

She felt like she was walking on air. It had been like that for days, ever since her night at the club with her friends. Finally, she felt alive. She felt free and excited and like she could breathe. Drinking wasn't an issue, she didn't need it. Her pills were left at home in her cabinet, she was high on life. Life was beginning, and she felt as if she had things to look forward to.

"Wow, someone is giddy." Grace smiled from the couch as Karen entered Will's apartment. Another night of poker, another night of hoping Will didn't notice her glances toward him, her staring. She just couldn't help it. He had taken on a new light in her eyes, and he was suddenly so very attractive. In moments where her rational mind took over, she realized that her actions were juvenile and foolish, but her playfulness took over and all she could do was imagine his lips upon hers.

She recalled that it almost happened, once. Sure, she had kissed him before, a friendly peck here and there, but the time in her manse was different. They were so serious and almost connected if it hadn't been for the ringing of the phone. She only wished she had the courage to try it again. If only they were in the same sort of situation again.

"Just a good day, honey. How are things?" She sat next to the redhead and smiled, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. "Is that cherry lip gloss?"

"Yes, and I'm fine, thanks." She tossed her magazine on the coffee table and turned to face her friend. "So, guess what. I have this client who I think you would really like. You two would make such a great couple, and I want to set you up."

"Oh, honey, I don't need help in the dating department." She scoffed and walked to the kitchen for a bottle of water. "Besides, I hate blind dates. There's nothing worse than pretending a complete stranger is interesting."

"But he isn't a complete stranger." Grace followed, giving her a strange look when she realized she was drinking water and not alcohol. "It's Steve."

"My ex-husband?" She began to laugh at what was obviously a joke.

"Why not? You two have really great chemistry together. And you obviously are still attracted to him. I mean, you just slept with him not too long ago."

"Honey, you don't have to be attracted to someone to sleep with them. You should know that better than me." She took a seat at the table and began eating some of the grapes from the center bowl. It was funny that her idea of attraction and Grace's was so completely different.

"Excuse me? Did you just imply that I'm a slut?" Grace joined her at the table, unsure whether or not she should be upset by the insinuation or amused.

"Well, Grace, once you get higher into the double digits in sex partners, I'd say that pretty much means you could be a slut. Depending on the circumstances, of course. You couldn't have possibly had a relationship with all of those men."

"You know, I'm just going to file that in the Karen compartment of my brain and forget about it." She smiled as Will and Jack entered the room with some takeout containers.

----------

"Oh, Karen, could you stay for a minute? I have a couple of papers that need your signature." She nodded at Will's request and smiled to Grace and Jack as they exited the apartment to leave for their own. It was late, and the friends had eaten Chinese takeout and played poker for hours. She was ready for sleep, if she had to be honest, but Will's words seemed to wake her sleepy mind.

"Can't you just sign my name, honey? I won't tell." He chuckled, and she placed her purse on the floor by the couch as she sat. He brought a few papers and laid them upon the coffee table. She sighed and read over the paragraphs before signing her name to the indicated lines.

"Has anyone ever told you that your handwriting is kind of sloppy?" She scoffed and signed the last document, sliding them towards his side of the table.

"Has anyone ever told you that you can be pretty bitchy sometimes?" He laughed at her words, placing a hand upon her knee. She kept her gaze on his fingers, absentmindedly caressing the fine flesh over her stockings. It seemed innocent enough, but there was something so sweet in his gesture.

"Yeah, but I do what you do and ignore them." His brow furrowed at the strange look in her eyes. It was as if she was barely listening to him. She seemed too focused on the fact that his hand was on her knee. He quickly retracted it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, or anything."

"No, it's okay." She licked her lips before meeting his eyes, smiling to hide her embarrassment. Their eyes maintained gaze for a moment, causing her to lose her breath. He leaned forward, and she quickly pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss. It only lasted a moment, but her stomach sparked and seemed as if it had burst into flames. He pulled away, holding her by the shoulders.

"Karen, what the hell?" She exhaled, looking to the side to realize that he was only reaching for his discarded pen on her side of the table. It felt as if her heart dropped.

"Oh my God." She covered her agape mouth with her hand, and looked into his face. "Oh, no." Embarrassment filled her stomach, occupying the place where the fire burned only moments before. She pushed his hands from her shoulders and grabbed her purse, quickly trying to run from the situation. She was mortified beyond anything she had ever felt in her life. She wanted to go back in time, stop herself from acting so foolishly.

"Wait, don't go. It's not a big deal." He took hold of her hand. She tried to pull it away and leave, but he held tightly to her. She bit her lip to stop the tears from flowing. She just couldn't believe herself. "Hey, hey, come here." He pulled her closer and took her shoulders in his hands, for the second time that night, but he was gentler all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry, okay. Please let me go." She continued to pull away, only wanting to leave. The sooner she could put the situation behind her the better; it didn't need to be dwelled upon.

"Are you crying?" She was suddenly more forceful. Her hands pushed against his chest, trying to get him to let go, but he held firm. There was no way she was going to let him see her cry.

"Damn it let go!" The volume and harshness of her words shocked him, and he quickly let go. She sniffled and hurried away from him, slamming the door behind her in her quick exit. It was only when the elevator doors closed behind her that she allowed her real tears to fall, and they didn't stop until she cried herself to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

"You're drinking again?" She met Jack's baby blue eyes and shrugged as she took another sip of her martini. Of course she was drinking again. Her own happiness didn't last long enough for her to continue living without a little help.

"Yeah. You didn't really expect me to stop did you, honey?" She gave a fake smile and sat her drink upon the desk. He stood and kissed her cheek before walking towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"I have a date with Josh, remember? I just told you that."

"Oh, of course. Well, have fun Poodle." He smiled and left for his date, and suddenly she was alone. Grace had already left for the evening, complaining about never getting enough time with Leo. She felt so lonely.

It should have been a wonderful time in her life. She was rich, had no obligations, and her life was easy. But she was lonely. Sure, she had her friends, but they could only go so far. She missed the feeling of a man's arms around her, especially at night.

She could feel as if being alone was okay when it was light outside, but the moment it turned dark and it was time for bed she felt it more than ever. It always felt so good to just be held. Even with an innocent hug from Jack, all of her emotions came forth and she felt like crying. Why couldn't she find a man who wanted to just hold her rather than screw her? It didn't make any sense.

She turned her head towards the door at the sound of a man clearing his voice. For a moment she was unable to breathe properly. He moved to Grace's desk and took the stool, bringing it next to her. He sat and handed her a paper cup of coffee, just the way she liked it. A moment or so passed before either of them spoke; each was unsure of what should be said.

"Karen…" "Will…" They shrugged and gave soft smiles.

"Listen, I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression the other night."

"You didn't, honey, it was my fault."

"No, it was mine too. But that's not exactly what I wanted to talk to you about." She raised her eyebrows. Great, she thought, he wants to talk about feelings. That was one thing she hated about him. He always wanted to find deeper issues in something that didn't really matter in her eyes. "I just wanted to ask a question."

"Well, ask it already. I'm getting ready to go home, and I don't have time to sit here and…"

"Would you kiss me again, like you did before?" She almost gasped aloud, but thoughtfully held it back. It wasn't the action he requested that surprised her, but the fact that it was him. She had to wonder if he felt the electricity between them as well.

"What? You can't be serious, honey."

"Don't ask why. Just…please." His eyes were questioning, searching hers for an answer. She suddenly realized how dark his eyes were, so deep. There was no clue to why he wanted her to kiss him, but she couldn't deny how appealing it sounded. His lips were so soft.

He took her hand in his and raised his eyebrows in question. She shrugged and leaned forward a bit. She raised herself to her feet and moved as close to his face as she could without touching him. Their eyes danced for a moment, and she knew he was confused. Her heart was pounding.

She pressed her lips to his and felt the same surge of energy that was present every time their faces came too close. She felt him sigh against her mouth as she massaged his lips with her own, tapping his bottom lip just once with her tongue before pulling away with a small pop. Their eyes met once more, but she didn't pull too far away.

"Like that?" Her voice returned in a whisper, and he nodded. Just as she began to fully pull away, his hands took hold of her face and he pulled her back into a knee-weakening kiss. She sighed into his mouth as his tongue penetrated her lips. He pulled her close and she straddled him on his chair; she was suddenly thankful she wore pants that day.

His arms wrapped around her waist and hers around his neck, holding one another as close as they could for the moment. She smiled into his mouth when she felt his hands move over her buttocks, he was finding a certain boldness. However, as quickly as they had begun their exploration, it was ended. They lost balance on the chair, and he fell backwards. She landed on top of him, causing each of them to groan at the discomfort.

"Oh, ouch." They quickly moved away from one another and stood to their feet, blushing a bit.

"Are you okay, honey?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Yeah." Silence, it was so uncomfortable. He took a deep breath and reached out to touch her arm.

"I have to go." She nodded, and he left too quickly for her liking. It didn't take her long to realize how much she wanted him.


	9. Chapter 9

She sat on Will's couch, looking through a magazine with Jack while Will continued to prepare their supper. Grace stopped by briefly, but she had to leave for a meeting. They were seeing less and less of her ever since she married Leo. It was almost as if she had found someone better to be with, so they were no longer necessary to her life.

She felt Jack's lips tickling the side of her neck. It was times like that when she just had to smile. Life could get so heavy, so oppressive sometimes, but there were always things that could make her smile. She giggled when his hands found her stomach, and he began to tickle her. Her magazine fell to the floor as she tried to get away from his hands, but he only followed and she was soon laughing until she could barely breathe.

"Jackie!" She began to try tickling back, but he stopped, placing a gentle peck upon her lips. He smiled and laid his head on her chest. Her body relaxed against the couch and she sighed, running her fingers through his hair.

"Karebear, would you be my boyfriend?" She giggled and kissed the top of his head. Will watched from the kitchen, smiling at the oddities of his friends. He studied their chemistry, how well they went together. He thought he had that with Grace, but it was different with Jack and Karen. Inappropriate groping and make out sessions were like high fives to them. They were so comfortable together.

And her laugh, he could listen to her laugh for days. She could be so beautiful, such a womanly presence when she laughed. Even when she frowned he thought she was beautiful. There was just a light in her eyes that he couldn't deny. He would never tell anyone, but he looked forward to spending time with her. If he knew he'd be seeing her, he would feel a delight within his soul. He couldn't help it. Perhaps he had a bit of a crush, but that thought confused him even more.

"Why, honey? The boys aren't treating you too friendly right now?"

"No, and it's not fair!" He leaned up so he could look into her eyes. "I canceled my date with Craig because Josh wanted to take me out, but then Josh canceled on me. He canceled on _me_. Can you believe that?"

"Why didn't you call Craig back and reschedule, honey?"

"Because, he's going on a date with Josh, duh." Her eyes widened a bit and she sighed. Jack's sex life had always been questionable to her. She just wished he would come to his senses and be serious. In her eyes, he was getting too old to be going from bed to bed without making any commitments. He simply needed to grow up.

"Oh, I guess all men are alike. Don't you ever find any who don't cheat, honey?"

"Of course, but I usually end up cheating if they don't."

"Why?" She really wanted to know why she had rarely met men who didn't cheat. Why did cheating always seem to occur? It was fascinating that it was so difficult to be faithful. And she knew that it wasn't only men, it was women as well. If she had to be honest, she had even been tempted to cheat before, but she had enough respect for her marriage to refuse the offer.

"Well…I don't know."

"Men are just pricks." She rolled her eyes and tried to sit upright, but he didn't let her.

"Wait a minute, we aren't all bad. You've been with men who never cheated."

"Actually, honey, I haven't."

"Oh." He frowned, apologizing with his eyes for something that must have sounded so harsh. He really had no clue that all of her relationships had ended with cheating; she never liked to talk about it. "That's so sad, Kare."

"Nah, it's not a big deal. Besides, you can't have everything. Some people are just born to be unfaithful." Will sighed as he watched Jack hug Karen tighter, and their conversation ended. Jack knew not to push a conversation with her and held her instead. He finished pouring the glasses of wine, and he wondered what it might be like to show Karen that all men weren't cheaters. He had never cheated, and he wished she knew how faithfulness felt. He wanted to show her. He wanted her.


	10. Chapter 10

She stepped out of the bath and wrapped a soft towel around her body, drying herself the best she could. She had just returned home from Will's apartment, and a bath felt necessary. Having the conversation she had with Jack about faithfulness provoked her to think about a few things, her life. She thought about his life and what may have made him think it was okay to cheat.

She shook her head of thought and began brushing her teeth, preparing for sleep. The next day was Saturday, but she felt like going to bed early. The mood she had been in recently was numbing her; she couldn't feel too much at the moment. Also, she knew the manse would be quiet enough to get a full amount of sleep. She had sent her entire staff away for the weekend, with the exception of Rosario who didn't want to leave anyway.

Her stomach growled and she sighed as she exited the bathroom. She thought her dinner was filling enough, but she was craving a late night snack. Instead of dressing for bed, she decided to hurry down to the kitchen for a little snack from the refrigerator. The idea of walking downstairs in a towel didn't bother her too much since she was alone, but she still walked lightly as if she would be embarrassed to get caught so bare.

After pouring herself a glass of water, she opened the door of the fridge and looked inside. Nothing sounded good at the moment, but she decided on eating a few cocktail olives. She heard the door of the kitchen swing open, stopping her motion. Her mouth was full, and she turned around with raised eyebrows.

"Karen, you're naked." She rolled her eyes, closing the door of the refrigerator. After swallowing her food she addressed her intruder.

"It's my house. I can be naked whenever I choose." His eyes were turned away and he looked embarrassed to see her in such a way. "How the hell did you get in here, Wilma?"

"Rosie let me in a little while ago. We were in the library talking about how poorly she's treated."

"And she said?"

"She told me I should shut my gay trap." Karen giggled a bit, pulling her towel closer.

"Seriously, though, why are you here? Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"I just wanted to talk to you about some things." She leaned upon her elbows, against the counter and waited for him to begin a conversation, but he only smiled. "I can't talk when you're naked."

"Does it distract you, honey?" She giggled and walked past him, brushing against his arm as she did so. "I'll be back."

"I'll be here." He sat on one of the stools next to the island counter and waited for her to return. It was such a strange feeling to see her so bare in front of him. It almost felt wrong to intrude on her alone time, but he just had to talk to her.

They made out in Grace's office, and neither of them had brought it up since. There was an odd ounce of awkwardness hovering above them whenever they were together, and he wanted to know exactly what that was. She entered the room once more, wearing a black nightgown with a lace robe over it. It didn't seem like she noticed, but it took his breath away to see her like that.

"Will? Stop staring at me, and tell me why you're here. Is something wrong?" She sat across from him on her own stool, taking a sip of her glass of water she had been drinking with her olives.

"Nothings wrong, exactly." She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Oh, honey, just spit it out. I'm too sleepy to be sitting up and having a girl-talk."

"I want to have sex with you." Her eyes widened and he could see all the shock on her face. Of course he knew she would be surprised, but he had to tell her. Maybe he should've chosen different words.

"Um…what?"

"I don't know what it is, Kare, but the other day when we kissed…"

"No, that was an accident. You're Will, I'm Karen. You're gay. What the hell are you thinking?" He ran his hands over his face and shrugged. He didn't expect the conversation to be like that, logical. In his mind he had heard her say that she wanted him as well, but it didn't happen like that at all.

"I'm sorry, and I know I'm gay, but I like kissing you. I like it a lot and…"

"No, stop it." She stood and began to leave the room, but he followed closely.

"Please, just hear me out."

"Honey, if we had sex it would completely throw off the balance of our group. What would Jack and Grace say? What would happen afterwards?" He walked closer to her, his face inching towards hers as she spoke. "Plus, you're supposed to be gay." His hands slid over her waist and he pulled her close to him.

"You remember when we danced?" She nodded, and his pelvis pressed into her own. Of course she remembered; she'd even dreamed about it a couple of times afterward. "Would you pull away if I kissed you?" She thought, pondering their situation. He was close, so close, and his cologne was dizzying. She could feel his warm skin through the thin fabric of her nightgown, pressing gently against her barely covered flesh.

And what would it change, really? Their sex lives were their own business. Jack and Grace would just have to accept it, or they could learn how to deal with it. She remembered a time when she had to keep her distance with Will because he turned her on so much, so she knew the degree to which she wanted him. She sighed, and her whisper flooded his ears.

"No." He smiled, briefly, before he captured her lips in a tantalizing kiss. Her body melted into his, and she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer. Their tongues touched as his palms caressed her buttocks, pulling the silk of her nightgown upward. She sighed into his mouth, feeling so many emotions flowing through her veins, but just as quickly as they had begun, he pulled away. "What's wrong?"

"Listen, Kare, I've only been with one other woman in my whole life, and that was years ago. I'm sorry if…"

"Shh. It's okay." She smiled and felt him relax a bit against her. Her hazel eyes searched his for a moment, attempting to put him at ease. She took his hand in her own and began leading him to her bedroom, never taking her eyes away from his. Before they reached her door, he rushed forward and kissed her again, taking her by surprise. Her back was pressed against the wall, and his pelvis was hard against her.

Their lips remained fused as she backed towards her door, pulling him in a closing it with his back. She reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over their head, only breaking the kiss for a moment. Her small hands brushed over his chest, feeling the muscle ripple beneath them. He pushed her robe from her arms to reveal her pale flesh. The touch of his hands sent shivers down her spine, she sighed.

He began to walk her towards her bed, and she unbuckled his pants, allowing him enough time to step out of them along with his shoes. It was obvious to her that he was nervous. She could feel his hands shaking and his breathing was more ragged than she would've expected. In order to take control, she turned him around and pushed him onto the bed, breaking their heated kiss. His eyes met hers as she pulled her nightgown up enough to straddle his waist. Once she was on top of him, he took it as his opportunity to take hold of the hem of her nightgown, pulling it from her body.

He almost gasped at how beautiful she was, completely naked on top of him. She leaned down and kissed him as she slid her hands beneath the elastic on his boxers, pushing them down his legs. Her lips made a trail of kisses down his chest as she followed his remaining clothing down his body. After finding a condom in her bedside table, she gently caressed him as she slipped it on. She was thankful for the darkness of the room so he couldn't see the pink rise to her cheeks. When she returned to his lips, she smiled, meeting his eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He smiled at her response; she was so sure of herself. She raised her hips and took him in her hand before guiding him inside her body. Synchronistic sighs escaped their lips, and she felt her body instantly weaken at the feeling of him. After a moment of catching her breath, she began to move, slowly enough to get used to his size.

She placed a kiss upon his lips before she sat up, scraping her fingernails over his chest in a sensual fashion. Her hips moved back and forth until he took them in his hands, guiding her more up and down. She quickly took his hands in her own and held tight as she squeezed his waist with her thighs. He sighed heavily, watching her eyes fill with pleasure while she bit her bottom lip. The pace quickened, and she leaned down to kiss him hard on the mouth, sighing.

He gained enough strength to roll them over, wanting to be the dominate one. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he moved faster, deeper into her welcoming flesh. The moonlight shone through the window to illuminate their bodies, so bare to the night. He looked into her shining eyes, kissing her swollen lips. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, and she pulled him closer as she began to find warmth rising within her stomach.

The headboard of her bed began to audibly slam against the wall behind her bed as they moved faster, harder. She could tell he was getting closer too because his motions were more strained by the moment. Her lips found his cheek, and she placed small kisses wherever she could reach. Suddenly, with one more thrust, she shivered and convulsed beneath his weight.

"Oh, Will." Her whisper passed his ear in a gentle breath. After a few more thrusts he felt himself let go as well, gasping for air. Their movements stopped, and he collapsed on top of her sweaty body. His lips found hers in a passionate kiss, tapping her tongue and stealing her shallow breath.

He broke the kiss and stared into her hazel eyes, which looked so dark in the light of the moon. She licked her lips and let out a sigh, touching his cheek with the palm of her hand. He pulled out, slowly, and rolled onto his back beside her, disposing of the condom in the trashcan next to her bed. When he turned to look at her, he found her eyes observing his face.

"Was it okay?" She smiled and a small giggle escaped her lips. She pushed her hair from her forehead and rested her arm above her head on her pillow.

"Are you sure you've only been with one other woman, honey?" He smiled as well; glad to know that he didn't disappoint her. She regained a small ounce of seriousness, enough so that she at least knew where they stood at the moment. "Are you going to stay?"

"Do you want me to stay?" He looked deep into her eyes and shrugged.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to if you don't want to."

"Well, I don't like to sleep alone." Their smiles connected in a soft kiss as she moved closer to him, and he ran a hand through her hair. She sat up and reached down the length of the bed to pull the blankets over their bodies before he pulled her close, and they drifted into a peaceful slumber.


	11. Chapter 11

He awoke to the best feeling he had ever experienced. The soft mattress beneath him was cushioning his back in the most comfortable way he could've imagined. The pillow smelled of a fruity shampoo, and the comforter was soft around his naked body. He smiled, his eyes still closed, as he reached for Karen. However, when the bed next to him was empty, he opened his eyes.

The bed was still warm, so he knew she hadn't been gone for long, but he still wished she would have been there when he opened his eyes. Suddenly, he heard the door of her bathroom open, and she entered the bedroom. She was dressed for the day in a knee length, black skirt and a purple shirt which she would most likely put a suit jacket over before she left.

"Good morning, honey. Did you sleep well?" She put her earrings in her ears as she awaited his response. He simply couldn't believe where he was, what was happening. He was actually naked in Karen Walker's bed, watching her get ready for her day and answering questions as if it was a normal occurrence. If he had to be honest, he liked it.

"Oh, Kare, your bed is amazing. I don't know how I've ever slept on anything different." He rolled onto his side and looked at her, so at peace with the world. He felt like he was lying on air, which he very well may have been to his knowledge.

"Well, I'm glad." She smiled and moved to get his clothing from a lounge chair in the corner. She placed the folded and ironed pile upon the bed, by his feet. "Rosie washed and ironed your clothes before you woke. She's crazy like that."

"Wow, that was nice of her."

"Yeah." She didn't know what to say to him. Was she supposed to act like they were just friends, or were they going to make love again? She couldn't lie, it was sensational, but she wasn't sure what was going to happen next. "So, um, what are you doing today, honey?" He stood and began to get dressed. She averted her eyes and busied herself with the task of tidying her hair in her vanity mirror.

"Well, its Saturday, so normally I clean the apartment, but I kind of feel like being lazy today."

"Oh, sounds good, honey. You should read a book, or something. If you want, you can borrow the one that I just finished. It is very good, and I think you'll like it." He pulled his shirt over his head and smiled. It wasn't often that he had ever seen her nervous, but it was an easy emotion to read.

"Karen, do you want to talk about what happened between us?" She quickly turned around, heavily sighing. A fake smile was plastered across her face.

"Why would I want to do that? It isn't going to make any difference."

"You don't regret it right?"

"No, I don't." She stood, meeting his gaze. "Do you?"

"Not a chance. I just don't want it to be awkward between us." She smiled before walking over to her bedside table. She picked up a book and handed it to him.

"Just in case you decide to have that lazy day, honey." He smiled and hesitated, only a moment, before he leaned down and placing a soft kiss upon her lips. She watched as he exited her bedroom, feeling lighter than she had in years.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So, what do you think it means?" She narrowed her eyes and leaned forward a bit, placing her elbow upon the table in front of her. Steve was seated across from her in a small Italian diner they had decided to visit for lunch. She didn't often find herself speaking of her personal life to many people, including her friends, but he was different. He knew more about her than anyone else in her life, and she knew he could be trusted with her secrets. He had kept so many over all the years they'd known one another.

"Why, you little slut." He chuckled, but it only caused her to roll her eyes.

"Come on, honey, I'm serious. I don't even know how to talk to him now. Are we friends or fuck-buddies? Is he going to want to do it again?"

"Well, in order to be fuck-buddies I think you have to do it more than once."

"Steve…"

"But, to be fair, I've been with you, and I can't think of even half a reason why he wouldn't want to do it again."

"How do I bring it up?"

"Maybe you don't have to. Just give it some time and let him bring it up. If he doesn't then you'll know it was only supposed to be once."

"You'd better be right, honey." He smiled and waved over the waiter to pay the bill. It left a bitter taste in his mouth when he told his ex-wife to give some time for a possible affair with her gay friend. He still loved her, in a special way of course, and he was so glad that she was feeling lighter about her life, but he felt a slight worry for her. It was worry that she would get her heart broken by pursuing someone who wasn't even attracted to her gender.

"You'd better be careful."

"Oh, honey, I'm made of steel. A fairy can't break this." She winked, knowing how fraudulent her statement could've been.


	12. Chapter 12

Karen and Jack entered Will's apartment on a Wednesday evening, exactly five days after he had laid her down. She hadn't spoken to him since the morning after, hadn't had the opportunity to, and she was a bit nervous. Her nerves slightly subsided, however, when they entered to find him reading the book she had loaned him. It looked as if he was almost finished, and it sent an odd thrill through her brain.

"Hey, you two. You ready for some Chinese?"

"Chinese?" Jack's voice was whiney, and he flopped next to Will on the couch. "I thought you were going to cook for us."

"Well, I was, but I got carried away reading this book. It's good." He looked Karen's way and gave a small smile, which she returned. She felt like a schoolgirl who was standing before her new crush, only instead of a schoolgirl she was a middle-aged woman who wanted to screw one of her best friends again. Her body told her to pursue some kind of relationship, even if it was purely sexual, but her mind told to her wait. She wanted him to make a first move if there was a move to be made. There would be less of a chance of getting hurt that way, especially if she was the dominate one in any decision.

"Books are boring, I'll be back." He walked out the door to quickly find some magazines in his apartment. If there was one thing he didn't like it was being stuck in a room when Will and Karen discussed liturature. They could speak about books for hours, and Jack found it so incredibly boring.

"So, how've you been?" She smiled and shrugged as she took a seat on the far end of the couch, leaving some space between them.

"Fine, thanks. How are you? I see you're enjoying the book."

"Oh, it's great. I can hardly believe the plotline half the time. You were right, it's good."

"Well, what can I say? I have good taste, honey." She smiled and then the awkwardness set in once more. What was there to say next? It wasn't as if the lines to their friendship were exactly clear anymore.

"Listen, Kare, I think we should talk about what happened."

"Not with Jack coming back."

"Right. Well, could you come by my office around eleven tomorrow?" She smiled mischievously and nodded.

"Should I bring a condom?" His eyes widened, but before he could respond Jack re-entered the apartment. She winked, letting him know it was only a joke, before they continued their evening. Sadly, Grace never arrived.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Her expensive heels clicked in an authoritative manner as she strode down the hallway in Will's office building. She took a deep breath as she passed floral paintings on the walls, wondering where one would even find such unattractive pieces of artwork. They were lifeless and cold. She walked past Will's secretary, ignoring the look of anger upon her face, and knocked gently on his door before entering the office.

"Hi, honey." She smiled a bit and closed the door behind her, making her way to a chair in front of his desk. She sat and sighed, placing her purse on the floor next to her.

"Good morning."

"So, I've had enough with this awkward shit that's been happening, okay? Let's just get out everything we have to say about what happened. Sound like a plan?" He chuckled a bit, but nodded while closing his laptop.

"Do I go first?" She nodded and placed her elbows on the desk, leaning closer to him. "Okay, well, I had a really great time the other night. I mean, seriously, it was the kind of night that makes me question my whole existence. I don't know what it is about you, Karen, but you mesmerize me, and I…"

"And what?" Her eyes widened a bit as she awaited his response. He seemed to be struggling to find the words he wanted to use.

"Well, I want to fuck you."

"Oh…" She smiled, feeling oddly flattered by his words, no matter how classless they sounded. "That good, huh?"

"Are you kidding?" He laughed, and she stood to walk around his desk to where he sat. She sat upon the edge of the desk and leaned forward a bit to give him a small glimpse of her cleavage.

"Well, what are you going to do about that, honey?" He smiled, eyeing the pale skin revealed by the low-cut shirt. He quickly understood her game, and he stood in front of her. Their eyes met, and she raised her eyebrows in question.

"I'd like to explore my sexuality a bit." She leaned closer and placed her lips upon his earlobe.

"Inside me?" Her whisper sent a shiver down his spine. He couldn't believe she was suddenly so bold; her words were so risqué in a sense. No one had ever spoken to him in that way. She touched his ear with her tongue before placing a small kiss on his neck.

"Come over tonight."

"I'll be there at ten." One more kiss on his neck, and she stood in front of him, brushing her breasts against his chest as she walked past him. He watched as she bent over and took her purse from the ground, another chance for him to observe her body before she walked out the door.


	13. Chapter 13

She took a deep breath and allowed her body to relax into the comforter. He was hot and heavy against her back as he collapsed on top of her. His lips left moist kisses on the back of her neck while his hands caressed her outer thighs, her hair, and every part of her he could touch. Another sigh escaped her lips as the pressure of his body increased.

"Oh, honey, you're getting heavy." He quickly pulled out of her body and rolled off her, giving her the opportunity to breathe more deeply. She didn't move. Her body was way too full of pleasure to move even the slightest.

She heard him next to her, removing the condom and making himself more comfortable. He rolled onto his side and slide his fingers over her bare back, making her shiver a bit. A smile formed upon her lips, and she turned her head to face him. Their eyes met.

"Do you want to stay over?"

"No, I'd better not."

"Why not?" She rolled onto her side as well and fully faced him. He took her hand in his and absentmindedly twirled her diamond ring around her finger.

"What if Jack walks in, or Grace? Plus, I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning." She didn't know exactly why she didn't want to stay with him, but she just didn't feel right about it. It felt wrong to sleep in his bed, especially after the amazing things they had done there.

It felt odd that she had done such things with Will. In the course of the three hours they had spent together she had been on her back, on top of him, on her hands and knees. They had done so many things that she could hardly fathom. And she could tell that he felt it too.

"This is a little weird isn't it?" She gave a soft smile at his question, confirming her thoughts.

"I was just thinking that, honey. It almost sounds crazy."

"Are we crazy?"

"Well, hell yes we are." He didn't expect her answer and it caused a chuckle to escape his throat. He placed a kiss against her lips, and she quickly responded. Once his tongue penetrated her lips she pulled away. "I'm going to go."

He watched her body as she stood from the bed, not even worried that she was completely naked in front of his eyes. It shouldn't have been too much of a surprise though, he had placed his hands and mouth over most of her body that evening. She stepped into her thong before pulling her skirt on and zipping it. His eyes watched her petite hands as they clasped her bra behind her back.

"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?" She scoffed and turned to face him with a bright smile lighting up her features.

"I've heard that line from every man who wanted to get into my pants, honey."

"Well, I mean it, whether they did or not." She pulled her shirt over her head and stepped into her shoes.

"You must be sincere, because you don't need to compliment me to get into my pants." She ran her fingers through his hair, placing her lips against his one last time before she grabbed her purse and began to leave. He hurriedly stood and pulled on his pajama pants.

He walked behind her and opened his door for her. She smiled at the fact that he was so polite, even if their situation didn't directly call for such gestures. They said goodbye, and she made her way home, all of her stress vanished.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Karebear, why don't we ever hang out anymore?" She raised her eyes from her magazine and met Jack's. He was standing next to her, his baby blue eyes sparkling in question.

"We hang out."

"No we don't, not for a long time. What do you do instead of spending time with me?" She took his hand in hers as she allowed her magazine to close.

"Poodle, do you want to go shopping? We can get you some new shoes and then go back to my place."

"See, I don't really miss the shopping. I miss you. Let's go to lunch and talk." She smiled and turned to Grace, who had barely paid attention to her friends for a very long time.

"Honey, I'm going to pay my Poodle some attention, so I won't be back." Grace mumbled her response and Jack took Karen's hand, leading her from the office. She seemed so distanced.

----------

"And then he said I sounded too gay. Do you think I sound gay?"

"Oh, honey, of course you do. But don't worry; there'll always be a next time." She placed her hand over his and smiled. He smiled as well before looking down to their hands. He pulled her small fingers up towards his face and observed her fingernails.

"When was the last time you had a manicure?" She retracted her hand and placed it on her lap, shrugging.

"I just haven't had time, that's all."

"You don't have time for anything anymore and…" He looked into her eyes, studying her for a moment. She felt self-conscious all of a sudden. "You're hiding something from me." She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I know you like a lover, Karebear." Her breathing became shallower for a moment, and she knew he was right. He knew her better than she knew herself sometimes, and that scared her a bit. "And I know you're hiding something."

She looked to the side to avoid his gaze. His eyes sometimes burned her soul, making her uncomfortable. It was then that she saw Grace's husband, eating lunch with a young woman of about twenty-five. She watched as he leaned across the table and placed a more than friendly kiss on her lips.

"Oh, shit. Jackie, look." She pointed over in Leo's direction. Jack's eyes widened and their previous topic of conversation was abandoned. "Do you think Grace knows?"

"But she would have told us if she knew, right?"

"She doesn't talk to us anymore, honey. Even Will said she doesn't call him anymore, he has to call her."

"What's going on?" She felt anger in her stomach, and she sat her napkin on the table before scooting her chair back.

"I'm about to find out." Jack grabbed her hand before she could stand and intrude on Leo's date.

"No, Kare, let's just see if Grace knows. It's her situation, not ours." She nodded, and settled back into her chair.

"But, if she does nothing, I'm kicking his adulterous, Jewish ass."


	14. Chapter 14

She sighed as his tongue trailed over the back of her neck. Jack, Will, and Karen had eaten dinner at his apartment, and Jack decided to call it a night. They spent the meal talking about what they needed to do to help Grace. It was clear that they had no idea how to help her situation. Should they tell her or let her find out for herself?

He pulled her chair away from the table before sliding his hands around her stomach, over her breasts. She felt his teeth begin to nip at the side of her neck. He loved doing that, taking a little time to touch her before she touched back, and she knew that. For some reason, the idea of him wanting to touch her rather than rush to find his own pleasure made her feel like a woman. She felt as if she was special, or at least important enough to be touched.

"Karen, can I ask you a question?" His lips pressed harder to her skin and she smiled.

"You can do anything you want to me." He chuckled, and she could feel his breath on her neck.

"Do you have any fantasies?"

"Sexual?"

"What else?" She giggled and turned to kiss him full on the mouth, standing to press her body close to his. He pulled her shirt from her body before his fingers trailed over her buttocks and he began to unzip the back of her skirt. She held his lip between her teeth as she pulled away, undoing his belt to let his pants fall around his ankles.

"I've always wanted to spend a whole weekend naked, having as much sex as I possibly can. And I like to talk dirty." She licked his bottom lip with the tip of her tongue, giggling a bit. "What's your fantasy?"

"I was just curious." He pushed her skirt down her legs, leaving her to reveal a thong and lace stockings. He seemed hesitant to answer and she pulled her shirt off, hoping to maybe give him some strength.

"Come on, I answered the question. What would you like me to do to you?" He still didn't answer. She pushed her hands beneath his shirt and brought it over his head, moving her fingers over his muscular chest. "Do you want me to talk dirty, bite you, hurt you? Name it, honey, and I'll make it happen. I can feel you on my leg." She whispered her words into his ear, her breath tickling his skin.

"You choose."

"You don't have anything weird, like a rape fantasy, do you?" He chuckled and shook his head. That was the furthest from a fantasy in his mind. "Good."

"Tie me up." She pulled back and brightly smiled, taking his hands in hers.

"My pleasure." She pulled him behind her and led him to his bedroom, closing the door and pushing him onto the bed. The springs squeaked beneath his back, and he watched as she slowly slid her stockings down her legs. She climbed on top of him and ground her hips over his.

She took one of her silk stockings and tied his hands above his head, threading the fabric through the headboard. She pulled his boxers down his legs and tossed them to the floor before she threaded her other stocking through the footboard, tying his feet together with just enough room so he could keep his legs spread apart. She stood above him on the bed, her legs on either side of his hips.

"I'm so turned on right now, Kare." She laughed and unhooked her bra, still staring at him.

"I can see that." She tossed the article of clothing to the floor and slid her panties down her legs. Her lips began at his neck and she kissed down to his bellybutton, feeling his erection on her chest as she moved further downward. Suddenly, she took him fully in her mouth, causing him to gasp loudly.

----------

She lay upon his chest, having already allowed him to pull out of her body. His hands and feet were still tied to the bed, and she had taken her time to please him. It was strange to her, amusing even, that she had so graciously been willing to accept and carry out his sexual fantasy. She had never really cared much about anyone else enough to even want to do that for them.

It also left her slightly confused. Why was he the only one she wanted to do that for, with? She tried to justify her confusion by realizing that he was the only secret lover she had ever had. It was purely physical with them, and maybe that was why she wanted to keep it physical.

"What are you thinking about?" She smiled. Maybe it wasn't _purely_ physical, but she liked that. She wouldn't have been able to be so comfortable with him if they didn't at least care a little bit about one another. But she definitely loved being in bed with him.

"I'm just wondering if I should leave you tied up and keep you as my sex slave." She leaned her chin on her arm, over his chest so she could look into his eyes. A bright smile lit up her face, and he returned it.

"I wouldn't have a problem being your sex slave, but my arms are going numb." They shared a momentary laugh, and she sat up, moving over his face to untie his hands. His lips tickled her throat as she freed his hands. He instantly wrapped them around her waist and pulled her close. She giggled as his lips continued to tickle her skin. He pulled back a bit and looked at her, smiling. "You have a hickey."

"Seriously?" She ran a hand over her neck and instantly felt a small discomfort in the place of which he was speaking. "It feels like we're in high school, honey." She giggled and he sat upright, allowing her to fall on his thighs. He leaned forward and untied his feet, pressing tightly against her and eliciting a giggle.

"I can't imagine what you must have been like in high school." He lay back after tossing his restraint to the floor, pulling her with him and rolling over so she was beneath his flesh.

"I was just like every other teenager in the world, bitter and clueless." He smiled and gently kissed her lips, lingering for a moment. She giggled and wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. "I would've had such a crush on you in high school."

"I wouldn't have known what to do with someone like you."

"I would've taught you." She ran her fingers through his hair and smiled. It might have surprised some people to know that she loved being held, but she did. She loved the feeling of a man's arms around her, warming her skin and holding her close. He kissed her harder on the mouth, running his tongue over her lips before penetrating them to taste her mouth. He began to kiss down her neck, sucking on her collarbone.

"Stay over."

"I'm sorry, honey."


	15. Chapter 15

She watched Grace from her desk, observing her in silence. She didn't know how to begin a conversation with her. It wasn't something they had to do often, have a conversation that was serious.

"Karen, would you fax this for me?" She walked over to her assistant, handing her a few papers.

"Yeah." She took the papers and sat them on her desk, deciding to wait to perform her task. She stood and followed Grace back to her desk. "Honey, I want to talk to you about something, and it's kind of hard for me to say."

"Are you okay?"

"Of course, I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I mean, you don't really come around anymore, and we miss you, Gracie."

"I'm fine." She looked sad, numbed, but she still faked a smile.

"See, honey, I don't feel like you are sometimes."

"I am."

"Ever since you got married you've been skipping our little dinners. I mean, I know we aren't the fanciest people in the world, but we are your friends."

"I know." Grace moved a bit and accidentally dropped her ring of wallpaper samples on the floor. She bent over to get it, but Karen's eyes stopped on a large bruise that became exposed on the back of her neck. She only caught a glimpse of it, but it was definitely there. Grace began sifting through her things again, but Karen didn't let her curiosity wither. She stepped behind her friend and pulled her hair out of the way so she could see the bruise more clearly. Grace didn't move; she knew it wouldn't matter if she did.

"Oh, Grace…" It was an ugly purple color, the bruise, and it covered the entire back of her neck. She gently placed her fingertips over the skin. "Does he hurt you, honey?"

"It's not like that." She took her by the shoulders and turned her so their eyes could meet. She stared into the face of one of her best friends, her boss, and wondered what exactly was happening in her home. It wasn't like Grace to be so quiet and secretive, but she was about to fix that, she had to.

"Did he do that? Did he hit you? He cheats on you too, doesn't he? Grace, talk to me." Grace pushed her away, startling her. It wasn't often that someone was so rough with her.

"He just gets stressed a lot, and I always annoy him when I know he's had a bad day."

"Damn it, honey, I've heard that same excuse from every woman whose husband hits her. It isn't your fault, it's his, and you need to get out of there. Come live with me. Go back to living with Will. Please, do something, because it will only get worse."

"Who the hell are you to judge me? I am doing just fine on my own."

"Can you honestly say that you're happy?"

"I'm secure. I have a husband who will take care of me and provides me with a home. He doesn't ask for much, and he loves me for who I am."

"That must be why he hits you." Her whisper caused silence. Grace's eyes were like daggers, penetrating her skin and stabbing straight to her heart. She couldn't allow herself to stand by and watch her best friend go through such pain. It wasn't natural, and she wanted her to understand that she needed to leave.

"Go home, Karen." She turned back to her sketch pad and waited for Karen to leave. She didn't move for a moment, but quickly took Grace into a hug from behind. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and rested her cheek on her shoulder, just long enough to pass her comfort. She wasn't exactly sure how to comfort someone, but Jack had done that to her before when she was sad, and it helped.

"Call me anytime you need anything. I mean it." She placed a small kiss to the redhead's cheek before going to her desk and finding a spare house key in her purse. She laid the key on Grace's desk and then she walked out the door, following her orders and leaving for her manse


	16. Chapter 16

She shivered as the cold tiles of the kitchen floor pierced her skin with the chill of the room. Making love on the kitchen floor had never occurred to her, never been interesting enough to try, but anywhere with Will was alluring. As long as she was with him, nothing else mattered at the moment.

He had called to ask about Grace, curious to know what was happening with his oldest and dearest friend. She asked him to come over. It didn't seem right to tell him such terrible things over the phone. Before they could construe a plan to get their friend back, she found herself panting beneath his flesh on her kitchen tile.

"I'm so addicted to you." His lips tickled as he bit her earlobe, still deep inside her body. She smiled and readjusted her legs around his waist, sighing. He ran his hands over her hips, continuing an exploration. "And your hips. And your ass." His lips ran over her neck as he hands gripped her buttocks, squeezing firmly.

"God forbid you mention my personality." She giggled a bit before he raised his head and looked into her eyes. He looked more serious than before, and she tilted her head to the side in question. "I was only joking, honey."

"To be fair, I've seen more of your body than your personality. I have no basis for judgment." She didn't like the way his words sounded, almost bitter. She moved, releasing his waist from the grip of her legs. He remained still, knowing that she would want to run from any emotion she could possibly have. He didn't want her to run, for once. He wanted to talk to the real her.

"Will…" She pushed against his chest, her small hands pressing against the muscle. "Come on."

"Just settle down..."

"Get the fuck off me." He could feel her begin to panic a bit, noticing how uncomfortable she was with being held to her place. He quickly pulled out, and she took it as her opportunity to push him away and hurry to her feet. She pulled her skirt over her legs before looking for her shirt. He watched as she redressed, and he buckled his pants.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." She scoffed, turning to look deep into his eyes.

"You don't even know I have feelings."

"Don't be like that."

"No, you don't be like that. You have every chance to get to know me, but we always end up using our time together in bed, or on the floor, or on the couch." He stood from the floor, moving closer to her.

"I can't get to know you if you are so full of shit." Her eyes narrowed and her mouth was set in a firm line. She felt a small shiver in her stomach and could feel her blood boiling.

"Get out."

"I'm serious. You have so many walls, and you tell so many lies that I don't even think you know who you are. How the hell am I supposed to figure it out if you don't even know?"

"I said get out! I know exactly who I am, and you have no right to come into my house and judge me. I'm not the one who's full of shit, you are." He didn't move, only looked to the ground. She was angry, so quickly, and he wasn't sure how to make it right again. She was not an easy person with whom to smooth things over.

"What's your favorite color?"

"What?"

"Your favorite color, what is it?"

"Green."

"And your favorite flower?"

"The Iris."

"Your favorite animal?" She sighed, annoyed.

"Will…"

"Where were you born?"

"We don't have to play twenty questions, okay. Just forget about it." He saw her give up on the argument, right before his eyes. He knew that their relationship, as strange as it was, meant a lot to her. It meant a lot to him as well, and neither was going to risk jeopardizing whatever kind of twisted friendship in which they found themselves.

He pulled his shirt on and met her eyes once more, shrugging. She seemed to have instantly forgiven him for being so harsh in such an instant. It was just a strange conversation altogether, and they each knew that it wasn't worth fighting, not even close. He leaned forward and placed a tender kiss upon her lips before he left.

----------

She opened the door, the morning after her confrontation with Will, to face an empty hallway. She peered around the corner of the doorway, but found no one. When she looked down to her feet she took notice of a large bouquet of Iris's, with a stuffed, green frog next to it. She smiled and leaned down to take the items from the ground.

She hugged the frog to her side while sitting the vase on the table. After quickly finding the card, she began to read. There was no signature, but it wasn't necessary for her to know who sent the gifts.

_I'm sorry I don't know you as well as I should. This is my promise to learn as much about you as I can, as you want me to know. I want to know you. Please take my apology, and meet me tonight at the Palace Hotel._


	17. Chapter 17

Jack and Karen giggled together as he lifted her from the ground and tossed her on the couch, tickling her sides and placing featherlike kisses on her neck. She loved it when he did that. It was so much fun to be a child with him, giggling and carrying on.

She laughed louder as she struggled to get away from him, but ultimately fell to the floor. He stopped tickling and rolled off her, smiling. There they lay, side by side on her living room floor, when the doorbell rang. She sighed and waited for Rosario to answer.

"Oh, Jackie, you're too cute." She rolled on top of him and he hugged her close to his chest.

"I love you, Karebear. Let's get married, move to the country, and have twelve kids who will all grow to be rich and look exactly as hot as we do." She giggled and looked up to meet his eyes.

"That was oddly specific."

"I'm just bored with life. There's nothing interesting happening. So, I think we should do something crazy."

"Like getting tattoos?"

"Yeah, let's do that!" He sat up, and she fell to sit between his legs on the floor.

"But, Poodle, that's going to hurt."

"I know, but it'll be something fun that we could do together. Yeah?" She thought for a moment and giggled. What would it hurt to get a measly tattoo? It wasn't like she was some kind of purist or anything. A bright smile lit her features.

"Okay. Let's go tomorrow." He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips, tickling her tongue with his own. She giggled and returned his kiss.

"Hi, Kiki." She immediately pulled away from Jack and met his blue eyes. Her back was to the door, and she couldn't see her visitor, but she knew exactly who it was. She licked her lips and shook her head, hoping that maybe the voice wasn't real. Maybe it was only her imagination. "Aren't you going to get your tongue out of that poor boy's mouth and say hello?" She stood from the floor and turned to face her intruder. No, it wasn't her imagination.

"Lois, what the hell are you doing here? I told you to stay away from me." Her mother met her gaze with an identical pair of hazel eyes. She crossed her arms in front of her, raising her eyebrows in question.

"Is that any way to treat the woman who gave birth to you?"

"That's all you did. I had to raise myself."

"Kiki…"

"Don't call me that. I want you to leave." Lois rolled her eyes, and, for the first time, Karen noticed the suitcases in the doorway. She shook her head, pointing her finger towards the bags. "No."

"I couldn't pay the rent in my apartment, so I came to live with you. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"No. What about Gin? You could live with her."

"She has a husband and a family, I couldn't intrude on that."

"I have a life, one that doesn't include you. Besides, what happened to the checks I send you every month? You couldn't possibly go through all of that money." Lois rolled her eyes and looked away, mumbling some sort of excuse for her irresponsibility. "Say it again."

"He took it. The man I was living with took all of that money. I'm broke, okay." She didn't want to feel bad for her mother, not after the childhood she had. Their relationship had always been strained, and she didn't want to bring that kind of negativity back into her life. She looked to Jack, who was still sitting on the floor next to the couch. He shrugged, and she turned back around.

"Do you have a job?"

"Of course I do."

"Rosario will set you up in one of the guestrooms." Lois smiled and leaned forward to hug her daughter, but stopped. It didn't feel right at all, and they cringed at the idea. Instead of hugging, Lois patted Karen's shoulder with her hand before following the maid to her temporary room. "This bites."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He ran his fingertips over the painted flesh on the back of her hip. It was a small Iris, dark blue with a hint of purple, and a vine threaded through. It was no bigger than a half-dollar coin, but there was an intricate design from a true artist.

"Did it hurt?" She smiled as he gently placed his lips over her new form of self-expression.

"I don't think mine hurt as bad as Jack's." She giggled at the memory and sat up on the bed, pulling her shirt over her head as he did the same with his own. Jack had gotten a matching tattoo, only his was on the front part of his hip so it could be covered with a bathing suit. "The poor thing was almost in tears."

"I'm much more interested in yours." He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips, slowly pushing her onto her back. It always amazed him how soft her bed was, encircling them with softness, like a cloud. It matched the feeling of her skin and her hair, her hands and her legs, every part of her was soft. Every part of her was soft except her personality. It always depended on the day and the situation, but her personality was jagged and rough, like a stone that had been passed over by water for too long. It had eroded.

"Oh, honey…" He smiled into her neck while he continued to trail kisses down her body, between her breasts. His fingers unzipped her skirt and pushed it down her legs. She could feel her heart pounding loudly within her chest, already. She could already tell that it was going to be an intense evening of pleasure; just by the way her heart was quick to speed up.

He kissed around her bellybutton and swiftly moved down her thighs, along with her thong. She felt his lips brush close to her center, closer than ever before, and it startled her. Her stomach jumped a bit, and she raised her head to look at him. Her reaction must have startled him as well because he met her eyes, his lips remaining above her lower hairline.

"May I?" She hesitated a moment, but nodded. He smiled and continued to kiss around her. She laid her head back and waited, waited for the powerful surge his lips would bring. And she was not disappointed. His tongue jetted out from between his lips and brushed over her in a slow motion.

She gasped and let out a deep breath. Her teeth bit hard on her lower lip as his lips kissed and sucked, his tongue moved in a figure eight motion to get every inch he could. She couldn't recall the last time a man had gone down on her, it hadn't happened very often. Stan never did it. She couldn't have complained, though, because he never expected her to do the favor for him, so it was fair enough. But there was something so magnificent about the directness of an oral pleasure she couldn't deny. She enjoyed it very much.

"Stop…" He abruptly stopped, hoping he hadn't made her uncomfortable. He was relieved when he saw her heavy breathing, and her eyes were sparkling beautifully. "I want you to come with me."

"My pleasure." She smiled as he slid his boxers down his legs and began to move over her. He took her ankles in his hands and moved them up her body, upon his shoulders, as he found her lips in a deep kiss. With one swift push he entered her willing body, their position allowing him to find deeper penetration than ever before.

His thrusts were hard, deep, and she felt her stomach surge with electricity. She bit his lip, a small whimper escaped her throat. It was so different than any other time with him. It felt so personal, so intense.

----------

Lois walked up the stairs and towards her bedroom to change. She had been working for hours, and her body was exhausted. She had been working double shifts for the past week, wanting to get out of her daughter's home as soon as possible.

She would have loved to say she and Karen were getting along very well, but that would've been a fraudulent thought. They didn't like one another, and they had nothing in common. It had always been like that, and she supposed time wouldn't change a thing. No, they didn't fit into one another's scheme of life.

It wasn't that she didn't want to be close to her daughter because nothing else would have made her happier; she just didn't know how to talk to her. She didn't know how to begin a conversation without Karen overreacting and storming away.

She stopped as her hand began to open the door of her room. If she wanted to change their relationship, she knew she had to make the first move. She continued to walk down the hallway, hoping to speak to Karen before she decided to go to bed. They had to mend before she moved out and lost her forever. It was time to move on and have a real mother-daughter-relationship before it was too late.

She was just about to knock on Karen's door when she heard sounds of love making. She retracted her hand and took a step back when she heard her daughter's gasp and a man's voice whispering her name in ecstasy. She smiled, chuckling a bit, and walked back towards her room. She suddenly had a reason for conversing with her daughter over breakfast the next morning.

----------

Tears fell from her eyes as their movements finally ceased. He whispered her name in her ear and moved to kiss her lips, tapping her tongue with his own. He pulled away and met her eyes, surprised at the fact that she was crying. He had never actually seen her cry. He didn't even know she did that. It was so bizarre to him that he wasn't sure how to react.

"Did I hurt you?" She smiled as his fingers wiped the saltwater from her cheeks.

"No, honey, you didn't."

"Then why are you crying?"

"It was just…really good."

"Oh." He smiled and placed one last kiss upon her lips and pulled out. She dropped her feet from over his shoulders as he moved to lye next to her. Their chests rose and fell in a synchronistic motion as they came back to reality, slowly.

He looked into her eyes, smiling. She returned the smile and rolled onto her side to kiss him tenderly. Something happened in that instant. It was as if their minds connected, and there were no more secrets. There was nothing between their souls, nothing but flesh. It scared her a bit to think that she may have been closer to him in that moment than she had ever been with another human being.

"Will, did I ever tell you that you're a sweet guy?"

"Thank you."

"It's not a compliment, just something I noticed." He nodded, a smile formed upon his lips. She was becoming real right in front of his eyes, and it was beautiful. "Could we...talk?"

"Of course." Her next words came in a whisper.

"Did I ever tell you about the day my dad died?"

"No." He took her hand.

"I was seven, and he and I went to the lake behind our house for a picnic…" She told the story of her father, a man she had always admired for his wisdom and faith. He was the most wonderful man she had ever known, and Will felt that he suddenly understood a lot more about her. He quickly realized that she was showing him her personality, and she was doing so on purpose. She was beautiful.


	18. Chapter 18

Lois sat at the kitchen table, waiting for Karen to join her for breakfast. She had the day off work, and she was hoping to use the time to speak with her daughter. There were a few things about which she wanted to speak, particularly the man she heard leaving the manse at three in the morning.

Karen entered the kitchen and slapped Rosario's backside, causing the maid to jump in surprise. They bickered for a moment with semi-harsh words before she sat across from her mother at the table. Rosario set a plate of eggs, toast, and half of a grapefruit in front of her before leaving the room to begin some of her daily chores.

"So, what are your plans for today?" Lois smiled, but Karen only gave her a dirty look.

"I'm hoping to get rid of my houseguest. When do you think that'll happen?"

"Who taught you to be such a bitch?"

"Well, I lived with you for sixteen years of my life. Most dysfunction begins with poor parenting, right?"

"Okay, can we talk for a second without all the drama? I'd like to have a conversation with you, if that's okay." Karen rolled her eyes and took a drink of her orange juice, cringing at the fact that it didn't have vodka in it. "I told Rosario to skip the alcohol today."

"Talk. You said you wanted to talk so do it. I don't have all day."

"I wish you would let me into your life, Karen. I know it's mostly my fault you're like this. I should've hugged you more as a child, bought you things and took you places." Karen shook her head, not meeting her mother's eyes. She hated the fact that she was sober, because she was beginning to think of all the things she always wanted to say to her mother. She thought of all the things she was denied as a child.

"I didn't want you to buy me anything, I just wanted you to care about me the way you cared about Gin, or Daddy, or even Bernie, even all those men you screwed for their money…"

"I was not a whore."

"I didn't care what you were! You used me my whole childhood, just for your own satisfaction. I lost so many things that I never even knew meant anything. Like respect for you, for myself, and I lost all sense of what's wrong and right. I had to learn that by myself and it makes me sick to think back on all that. And look at me now. I am so fucked up, and I blame you for emotionally killing me as a child."

"I think the alcohol and drugs are what killed you. I caught you with heroin when you were fifteen years old."

"That was the only way I knew how to go numb, because that's when…" She didn't finish, it wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth telling one of her deepest secrets to make a point. "I just didn't know what to do, okay?"

They sat and stared at one another for a moment, unsure of where to take the conversation. They were only bordering the depth into which they could've dove, but something stopped Lois from continuing. She wasn't sure why, but she pressed the issue of Karen's aborted statement. Her words formed in a whisper.

"What happened then?" Karen's eyes dug deep into her face, seeming to burn her. "Kiki, this is the stuff I want to talk about. I want to be your mother."

"You should've tried that before. It's too late."

"Karen…" She stood and walked to the side of the table where her daughter sat, trying desperately to put up her mask. She put her hand beneath her chin and raised her head so she could look into her hazel eyes. "It's been years, and I'm sorry I haven't been here for you, but I want to be here for you now. And I want to know what happened." She felt like a child again, shy and inhibited as she had been. Even her voice sounded softer, though she tried to sound confident.

"I've never counted it as my first time, at all…It was just something that happened. I never wanted it."

"A boy from school?"

"Not from school." Their eyes locked hard, and Lois immediately knew of whom she was speaking.

"Bernie?"

"Who the hell else?" She was shocked. Bernie always spoke of nothing but love for her girls, never saying one cross word about them. Maybe she was suggesting something different.

"Wait, what are we talking about exactly?" Karen looked away and shook her head. She was embarrassed. She couldn't believe what she had revealed, so easily and willingly. It was like the words had been waiting for her mother for years. There was only one other person she had told in her life, and that was Steve. She scoffed and stood to leave, wanting nothing but to forget.

"I think you know, Mom." Her hand was taken, and she stopped. Her mother met her eyes before pulling her into an embrace. She resisted the urge to pull away, and she allowed her mother to hold her. She didn't cry, it was so long ago that she didn't feel the pain anymore. Pills and time had simply eased her mind of that particular event in her life.

"I'm so sorry." She held her close until Karen wrapped her arms around her waist to continue the embrace. It felt right, only for a moment. It felt as if she finally had her mother to hold her when she felt down. Of course, she knew that it wouldn't last, it never did with Lois, but she let herself get caught in the moment. The feeling was worth the sensitivity. "I love you, Kiki."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She walked into Will's apartment, wishing he was home. It had been a rough day, more so than usual. Grace wouldn't speak to her at work, and the conversation she had with her mother wouldn't go away. It had stayed on her mind all day, and she wanted to get rid of it. She wanted Will to make love to her until it was no longer on her mind. She had stopped taking pills, sex was her new drug, and she needed a fix.

After a few moments of sitting on his couch, she stood and walked into his bedroom, laying her purse on his dresser. She walked into his bathroom and started to run a bath, filling it with bubbles and a sweet smelling soap. She took her lighter out of her purse and began lighting candles he had around the bathroom. The water filled the tub and she turned it off, taking a deep breath and checking her watch.

Then she thought: what if he had plans? What if he had a date or something and he wouldn't be home? Or, worse, what if he just didn't want her there? It would be the first time that they had ever met without calling, or at least making prior plans. She began to panic a bit.

Quickly, she rushed from the bathroom, grabbed her purse, and hurried to the front door. As soon as she reached for the doorknob, Will entered his apartment. Their eyes met, and she felt a slight surge of panic once more.

"Hi, Kare. What are you doing here?" He smiled, but she only shrugged.

"I was just leaving, honey. Excuse me." She tried to push past him, but he closed the door and pulled her into a deep kiss. Her body fell weak, so weak that she dropped her purse to the ground. When he pulled away, he only smiled.

"I want you to stay. I had an exhausting day, and maybe you can help me relieve some stress."

"Maybe you should take a bath."

"Will you join me?" She smiled. They had never shared a bath before, but the idea aroused her. He led her through his bedroom and to the bathtub, but stopped when he saw the bubbles and candles. "You snuck in here to do this, and then you were just going to leave?"

"Well, I wondered what would happen if you didn't want me here."

"I always want you here." She smiled and pulled her shirt off over her head. They undressed and quickly stepped into the warm water. They sat facing one another, their legs brushing. "Do you want to hold me, or can I hold you?"

"Which do you prefer?" He shrugged, bashfully smiled.

"I'd like to hold you." She scooted closer and turned around, placing her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, kissing her cheek. He kissed down to her neck and smiled. "You're sober aren't you?"

"Is it that noticeable?" Of course it was, he couldn't smell any alcohol on her skin and her smile was warmer than usual.

"I just like it." He thought it was best not to offend her in any way. She moved her hips against him and he felt himself begin to react to her touch. He assumed she felt it too, because she giggled a bit and looked behind her to meet his eyes.

"Wow, honey. Hello to you too." He laughed and kissed her lips, running his hands over her breasts. She sighed heavily as his hand made its way between her legs, rubbing her a bit. She reached behind her and wrapped a hand around him, moving it to make him harder in her hand.

His lips tickled her neck as he sucked on her pulse point. She shifted her weight so she could raise her hips, and he took her movement as a sign to grasp her hips in his hands and slip into her center. After a gasp and a moment to adjust, she began to move her hips, leaning her head over his shoulder in pleasure.

"You're so hot." He sped the pace, pulling her closer with his arm around her stomach.

"You drive me crazy." A moan escaped her lips, so suddenly that she wasn't aware of how loud it was. She also didn't care. He was holding her close, deep inside her body, and she had no other care in the world. And, at the time, that was all she needed.

----------

She kissed him one last time on the lips and rolled off his body, falling to the mattress beneath them. He smiled and pulled her close, running a hand over the supple skin of her back. He kissed her forehead, sighing and relaxing against the pillow.

"You were so good tonight."

"Honey, I thought I was good every night."

"You definitely are, but tonight was different. So was last night. Is something going on with you?"

"Nothing that matters, honey. I've just decided that I need to be less of a bitch, and maybe a little more of a slut." She smiled and leaned up to kiss him on the mouth, running a hand over his cheek. "I should go."

"No." He stopped her from moving towards the edge of the bed by holding her close to his chest. "You can't leave tonight. I want you to stay."

"You know I can't do that."

"Why not? We'll put the chain on the door so no one can come in, and tomorrow is Saturday, so we can sleep in. Come on, Kare, you make me feel like I'm not worth being with in the light of day."

"That's not true. You know that." She placed her hand on his cheek and pecked his lips.

"So prove it to me." A sigh escaped her lips. It wasn't that she didn't want to stay with him, she did. But it was the idea of taking another step in their semi-relationship that made her uneasy.

"Go put the chain on the door." He smiled brightly before pulling her into a deep kiss. After rushing to put the chain on the door, he returned to his bed and wrapped his arms around her naked body. They slept, peacefully throughout the night.


	19. Chapter 19

"I can't believe you told her about that. What'd she say?"

"It doesn't matter, I guess." She looked at Steve as he sat across from her at his table. He had invited her over to his apartment for supper. Surprisingly enough they had been talking ever since he came to Manhattan, since Grace had redecorated his apartment. "Let's talk about something else."

"Okay. How's your lover?" She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her red wine.

"He's fine, I assume. We don't really talk much." That was a lie and she knew it. They were getting close, too close, and she wasn't exactly sure what was happening. It was best for her to continue reminding herself that they weren't in a relationship. "What about you? How's your lover?"

"To be honest, you're the only woman I've been with since I came to Manhattan. Why are all the women here only interested in my dick rather than my mind?"

"Because that's the only thing I recall you're any good at, honey." He feigned a dirty look and tapped her foot with his beneath the table. It amused her that they had a friendship similar to the one they had before they married years ago, similar to hers with Jack even. He just knew her so well, and she knew him, and it worked very well.

"But I don't want to just get laid; I want to get married again some day."

"You should ask Grace out."

"She's married."

"Yeah…well, he's just not a good enough person for her. And maybe you would be, if you weren't such a pig." He laughed a bit and took her hand in his over the table. She looked at their connected hands and wondered what the meaning behind the sentiment was.

"What about you? Would you ever consider dating me again?"

"Are you kidding?" She laughed, pulling her hand away from his. She couldn't tell if he was joking or completely serious. His sense of humor was somewhat limited at times, and it was difficult to tell. "We obviously aren't supposed to work, honey. That's why we got a divorce."

"But we were so young, and we made a lot of mistakes. I think it could work now if we tried." She rolled her eyes.

"Steve, every time you're lonely I'm sure you pick the woman closest to you and try to start something. I'm not just going to pull my dress over my head every time you need a quick fuck."

"Is that what you got from what I just said? I think I have feelings for you, Karen."

"No you don't. Stop that." She covered her ears and stood from her chair. She didn't want to hear it. She wanted their friendship to remain the way it was. He rushed over to her as she was taking her purse from the coat hook, and he took her shoulders in his hands. "Seriously…"

"Just hear me out."

"No! Nothing is going to change. We have to stay the same, okay." His lips took hers in a kiss, roughly. She couldn't help, but sigh and linger for a moment. He knew how she liked to be kissed, how she liked to be touched. His hands pulled her close by the small of her back, but she pushed him away and took a step backward. She had to stop herself before she made the mistake of surrendering to the moment. She and Will had been somewhat exclusive for a long while, and she didn't want to change that.

"I want to see what it'd be like between us."

"No, honey." She licked her lips and avoided his eyes. He only smiled, understanding.

"You love him, don't you?" Her head shot up and met his gaze. He raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "You've never pushed me away before."

"Listen, let's just forget about this okay? We can go to lunch on Wednesday, if you still want to." She walked out the door and began to make her way home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She walked into her living room to find Jack and Lois in a discussion, and it looked serious. Jack had a look on his face as if his world had suddenly changed. The two newfound confidents turned to look at her as soon as she entered the room, setting her purse in a chair. She shrugged and nervously readjusted her weight.

"What's going on? What are you doing here, Poodle? Did you want to go shopping? I know this cute little place that just…" He stood from the couch and walked over to her, standing very close to her face. As an instinct she leaned her head back a bit. "What?"

"I love you." He leaned forward and pulled her into a tight embrace. She didn't understand at all, and it made her more nervous than before. "And I promise nothing will ever hurt you."

"Are you okay, honey? Did something happen?" She pulled away and met his shiny blue eyes.

"I know."

"You know what?"

"About your step-dad." Her eyes widened and she took a step back, looking towards her mother.

"No."

"Don't worry, I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Can I call you later, Poodle? I have to talk to Lois."

"Of course." He placed a kiss on her lips and let himself out. Lois stood and walked over to her daughter, hoping to make some kind of peace. It was obvious that Karen was outraged, and she wanted to smooth it over.

"So, it's Lois now? What happened to calling me mom?"

"That only happened because you fooled me into thinking you had changed. I want you out of my house."

"Kiki, don't overreact. It just slipped. Just be lucky I didn't tell him about Will."

"You bitch." She shook her head. "I can't believe you would do that. He didn't need to know anything about that. These are my friends, and this is my life. I don't want you in it anymore."

"I can't leave, I'm nearly broke." Karen opened her purse and pulled out her wallet, beginning to write a check. "I'm sorry, okay? I just assumed you had told him. Besides, you can't live your whole life as a lie, and that is exactly what you do. You're full of shit most of the time."

"Here." She handed her mother a check for one million dollars. A small sum for such a rich woman, but it would get rid of her mother. "I want you to stay away from me, for real this time."

"You can't mean that. You're my child, I love you."

"That's unfortunate because I hate you. Be out by morning." She took her purse with her to her bedroom. It wasn't until she closed the door with her back that she began to cry. Tears fell down her face, for whatever reasons. She kicked off her shoes, throwing them across the room, hearing them crash against something.

She sank to the ground and pulled her knees up to her chest, sobbing into her dress. She wanted so badly to have her mother back in her life, as a mother and not a business partner. All her mother wanted was to tell her secrets and try to ruin her life, while trying to make nice of course. It made her feel as if every person from her past only wanted to hurt her, and that was why she had left them all behind.

She suddenly felt a hand on her head, and she jumped. Her eyes met Will's in a quick motion, and he shrugged. She hurried to wipe her face, which she knew was red from the tears. He must have snuck into her bedroom before her mother and Jack arrived. He pulled her into his arms, and she held to him as if it was the last time she could.

"What's wrong?"

"Please, don't."

"Should I go?"

"No, just hold me." She held him tighter to her as he stood, carrying her to the bathroom. He sat her on her feet and she noticed that there were candles lit everywhere and a bubble bath was drawn. She smiled through the remnants of her tears.

"I thought it worked so nicely the other night that we might try it again." She met his eyes and placed a kiss upon his lips. He caressed her cheek with his fingertips, wiping it dry.

"Will…thank you. Please don't leave me tonight."


	20. Chapter 20

She sat at her desk and watched Grace while she filed her fingernails. A month or so had passed since their conversation about her marriage, but nothing else was said about it. However, she knew Grace hadn't forgotten. She sometimes looked a bit embarrassed when she walked into the office to face her assistant, especially when there was a new visible bruise.

"You can take lunch if you want, Kare." She stood and took her purse from the floor.

"Sure, honey. You want to come with me? I'll buy."

"No, thanks." She walked closer. She was desperate to get her friend back in her life, and she wanted more than anything to help her through her problems.

"Aw, come on, Gracie. We could close early and go to lunch, and then we could go shopping. Let's have some fun."

"No, thanks."

"Oh, well then we could go to a movie?"

"No, thanks." She took her friend by the shoulders and turned her to face her, trying to meet her eyes. Karen bit her lip, trying to figure out a way to break through the ice-cold exterior and get to the real Grace. After a moment of trying to meet her eyes, Karen took a step back and slapped her hard across the face. She jumped and held her hand to her cheek, astonished. "What the hell?"

"Am I getting through to you or should I hit you harder? Maybe I should call and ask your husband." Grace quickly returned the slap to Karen's face, harder than she expected. She stepped backward and gasped. "Ouch!"

"Why are you being like this?"

"Damn it, Grace, that hurt!" She walked over to the mirror on the wall and looked at her cheek, seeing the quick formation of a red handprint.

"You hurt me too. And would you just stop it with all the comments about Leo."

"He doesn't even deserve to be called by name."

"Maybe not, but you need to back off." She walked over to the redhead and took her hands in her own.

"Please, I am begging you to leave him, honey. Don't put up with this." Karen Walker didn't beg, by any means, but she decided to put that part of her persona to the side for the sake of her friend.

"Stop it with this conversation. We've had it enough." She pushed her friend away from her, taking some distance. "You don't have to come back today."

"Alright, listen. You keep pushing your friends away and one day we'll stop trying. One day we'll stop asking how you're doing. We'll worry about you, of course, but eventually you'll push us so far away that you won't have anywhere to go when you finally do get the balls to leave him. Don't let that happen, Grace, because you are worth so much to us."

She left the office, without a look towards her friend. If she had to be honest, she might've cried. All she wanted was for Grace to come to her senses and come back to them.

----------

She jumped at the sound of her bedroom door as it closed. She opened her eyes and sat up a bit, using the light of the moon to see. Her eyes squinted and she looked harder to the intruder. She had no contacts in her eyes, and her glasses were on her vanity across the room, so it was increasingly difficult to see in the darkness.

"Gracie?" She smiled as the redhead sat her suitcases down by the door, making her way over to the bed. She kicked off her shoes and walked to the empty side of the bed. She climbed under the covers, turning to meet Karen's eyes.

"I left him, Kare." She leaned forward and pulled her friend into an embrace, preparing to hold her while she slept.

"Thank God."


	21. Chapter 21

A week passed since Grace left her husband, and she had finally moved back into her old bedroom at Will's apartment. They spent nights talking, catching up on old times. It was so nice to have her back in their lives, and Karen could feel the easiness of their old lives returning. It was such a relief.

She lay panting heavily on top of Will's chest as his hands gripped her back, leaving small crescents where his fingernails had scratched her in ecstasy. She kissed his chest, moving toward his neck, moving her hips a bit. He sighed and kissed her forehead, her cheek, until he found her lips.

She ran her hands over his hips, tickling his skin beneath where her legs lay around him. They had made love slowly, which was an odd occurrence between them. It was usually rough and hard, intense. But he insisted they take their time, and they did. She couldn't have complained either way. She loved being with him no matter which pace they found.

"I have to talk to you about something. It's kind of important." She looked into his eyes and lifted her hips so he could pull out, but she didn't move from on top of him. It made her nervous and she wanted to remain touching. She placed her lips against his neck and left tiny kisses. "I met someone."

"Oh." Her lips stopped and she pulled away to look into his eyes. She began to sweat a little more, swallowing hard. "Should I go?"

"No, I wanted to talk about it."

"Oh." She moved to lye next to him. Suddenly it didn't feel right to have her legs around his waist. He didn't allow them to get too far away from one another. He rolled on top of her, her breasts pressed tightly against his chest.

"I don't want us to stop, but I don't think it'd be fair to him if I didn't give him one hundred percent, you know? But, I'm so addicted to you."

"We aren't in a relationship, Will. You don't owe me anything."

"I feel like we're more than just sex."

"Then let's be friends, just like we were before." It was fair, she supposed. They each knew it wasn't going to last forever, but it felt as if it was just too soon. Her body still ached for him almost every day, and she wasn't sure she could live without his warm hands.

"I'm going to miss this, Kare. Honestly, I am.

"Honey, I understand why. It's okay." He leaned down and kissed her lips, tenderly. Her palm came to caress his cheek as he deepened the kiss. They made love once more before she said goodbye, leaving a gentle kiss upon his swollen lips.

----------

Her heels clicked hard against the pavement, which resembled glass since the rain had stopped. She was rushing, needing a way to escape what had just happened. Will had called their relationship off. Even though she understood his reasoning, she still didn't want it to be true. She had some kind of vision of a life they could live, just as they were. She wanted to remain lovers forever, even though she knew how silly it sounded.

The bells jingled as she opened the door of the bar. She hadn't set foot inside the bar for almost a year, almost the duration of time she had spent with Will. There was no need to drink when he was in her life, but she saw no need to stay sober when she had no one to stay sober for. She sat on the stool she used to regularly occupy and slammed her hand on the bar.

"Smitty, martini, and I want it dry." She saw him do a double-take, having to make sure it was really her.

"Ms. Walker, you're here."

"And I didn't come to chitchat, so start shaking, honey." He began to make her drink, staring at her with widened eyes, surprised.

"You haven't been here in quite some time, ma'am. What are you doing here?"

"Just getting on with my life." She smiled, very fake, and took her martini from his hand. The liquid burned a bit as she swallowed her mouthful, but she only sighed. Life always seemed to take her back to the same things. Nothing ever changed.


	22. Chapter 22

She sighed as she re-crossed her legs for the hundredth time in the past hour. She was at Will and Grace's apartment, meeting Vince for the first time. He was a nice guy, sweet and attentive towards Will. He acted like a perfect boyfriend for her former lover. He also made a point to at least talk to her, even though she could tell he didn't like her in the slightest. She didn't care. She only hoped he would be out of their lives soon.

She remained on the couch, flipping through a magazine while Jack and his date were watching TV with Will and Vince. Grace was at her parent's house for the weekend, so Karen was left alone. She hated to be alone, especially when others were paired together like Noah's Ark, well, except for the gay factor.

His hands: something she missed the most about him. She loved the way he could touch every inch of her body and make her feel as if she had just caught fire. And the way he cared for her; he genuinely cared. She was certain he still did, but it wasn't the same. He had someone else to care for, so she knew that she wasn't as important as she was before.

"Karen, where are you going?" She turned from the door to meet Will's eyes, shrugging.

"I have a date." It looked as if it hurt him a bit. She was lying; of course, all she thought of was him. There wasn't time to look for a date when he was the one she wanted to be with. She had barely left her home since the night he told her he met someone.

"Really? What's his name, or, you know, hers?" She smiled and readjusted her purse on her shoulder. He was trying to make some sort of joke, she could tell, but his humor was lost on her.

"I don't care, honey. I'm just hoping to get laid. Thanks for dinner." She turned and left his apartment, noticing the look on his face. No, he wasn't over what they had either, and she could tell that it struck a chord with him when she spoke of having sex with someone else. She was glad, because she most definitely wasn't over it either.

She went home and watched television in her pajamas until she fell asleep on the couch.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm sorry about the other night, Kare. I didn't know Grace wasn't coming or I wouldn't have brought Kyle." Jack sat next to her at the table of their favorite coffee shop. He took her hand and smiled. "I feel bad that you were lonely."

"Oh, Poodle, don't be such a fairy. I was just sick of watching all of you gays, and your mating rituals." He giggled and leaned over to press his lips to hers. She smiled into their kiss before he pulled away. "What was that for?"

"I just thought you needed it. You know, you haven't been with anyone for a long time, since Steve. Maybe you should go out tonight. We can go to this bar I know and pick up some men."

"I don't know, honey." She smiled, enjoying the fact that he still had no idea about her experiences with Will. It was surprising to her that it was so easily kept a secret. They barely had to lie when they wanted to be together.

"We can get drunk and dance all night."

"I appreciate it, but I think I'm a little too old for the club scene. Maybe Grace will go with you. She needs to have some fun." And once again she was pushing her friends away, just as she begged Grace not to do. She was keeping her distance because, oddly enough, she had been hurt. The rules with Will had never been spoken, but she thought they were clear. They were only using one another's bodies. So why did it make her feel so empty when it was over? Why did it hurt?


	23. Chapter 23

She paced around her living room, bored. What could she possibly do with her spare time? She began making a drink, but stopped midway when she realized that she didn't feel like drinking. She could've found Rosario and pestered her a bit, but that didn't sound as fun as it used to. Nothing sounded promising at all.

As she passed the piano, she stroked a few keys with her fingers before sitting upon the bench. Some lessons as a child were as far as she got when it came to playing the piano, but she still placed her fingers upon the keys and began to play, a ballad of sorts. It was a favorite of her father's.

She hummed along with the tune, cringing when she hit a wrong note. It had been years since she played, but it felt nice to create a sound that was so rich to her ears, even if there were a few mistakes. She finished the song, a short one, and took her fingers from the instrument, sadly sighing.

Clapping came from the doorway, and she jumped. Her heart raced as she met Will's eyes. He was standing in her suddenly open doorway, right in front of her. She hadn't seen him since the night she told him she was going out to get laid, of course it was a lie, but that wasn't the point. She felt nervous, and a blush crept upon her cheeks. She hoped he didn't notice.

"How much did you hear?"

"All of it. I didn't know you could play."

"I can't." She stood from the stool and closed the lid over the heavy keys, hearing the ringing of the strings as she did so. "Did you need something?"

"No, you just haven't been coming around much lately. How are things?"

"How are things with you? How's Vince?" She couldn't answer his question when things with her weren't at all fine. She was simply unhappy with her life at the moment.

"We're great, thank you." His words hurt. She knew that he and Vince were getting along very well, but she didn't want to hear it. Half of her wanted him to be happy, but the other half wanted him to say he wanted her, and only her.

"Good. Now, did you need anything else, honey?" He shifted his weight and shrugged.

"Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Karen, this is going to sound crazy, but I miss you."

"No you don't. You made a choice and we are going to respect that, got it?"

"It's not just the sex, although that was extraordinary. I miss talking to you, being friends. Why can't we go out as friends?" She wanted to, but she was afraid. She was afraid that it would be awkward for them.

But it didn't have to be. She had been friends with him for years before they even thought about pressing the barriers of their relationship, becoming lovers. She couldn't deny that she missed having someone to talk to the way that they talked. He knew how to make her feel as if he wasn't judging her, and she believed that he wasn't.

"I'll get my coat." What could one night hurt?


	24. Chapter 24

A month without him, and she could hardly stand it. She wasn't sad, no she didn't cry. She was angry, frustrated. There was a certain anger she found in the fact that she had no one to talk to about certain things. There was no one to hold her and no one to hold. Plus, she was a very sexual person, and she was very sexually frustrated.

She groaned as she stood from the chair in her room, tossing her book to the table. She wouldn't have been able to remember the words she was reading anyway, she was too turned on. She wasn't sure why either. There was no reason for her body to feel so needy, but it did. She just hadn't had to go without another body for so long that she wasn't sure how to handle her feelings.

Pacing back and forth she got an idea. She knew where she could go to relieve the pressure she had been feeling in her stomach lately. She put on her shoes and reapplied her makeup before deciding that she needed to change her clothes. Pants and a purple shirt were replaced by a deep green dress, and she took her hair out of its clip so it could accentuate her face. Her plan was to be a seductress for the evening, and she was confident she would succeed.

----------

Even though it was almost midnight, he answered after the first few knocks on his door. She smiled when she met his sleepy eyes, staring her up and down. Without words, she stepped forward and kissed him hard on the mouth, feeling him awaken to her touch. She pushed him into his apartment and closed the door with her foot, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Karen…" He pulled away from her lips, but she continued to kiss down his neck, unbuttoning his pajama shirt. "What are you doing here?"

"I think you know." She pulled his shirt off his shoulders, but he placed his hands on her arms to stop her for a moment. He was confused and wasn't sure what she was expecting from him. She went to kiss him again, but he pulled away. "Fine, I'll find somewhere better to put my mouth." She kissed his bared chest and quickly sat on her knees, licking his stomach and pulling his pants over his thighs.

"You need to stop undressing me and start explaining." He pulled her up to his face by her upper arms, and she had to stop herself from scoffing and complaining that he was touching her too roughly. Instead, she shook off his touch and ran her hand over the bulge in his boxers.

"Honey, you don't seem to be too upset by it." He pushed her away from him, and her back hit the door, hard. "Steve, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Didn't you just tell me a while back that you aren't going to lift your dress over your head if I need a quick fuck? Well, I'm not pulling my dress over my head for you either."

"Ugh, that is not what I'm doing. Please, just shut up and take my clothes off." She could tell he wanted to; he just wasn't sure what it would be like afterward. They both knew she was using him.

"I don't think it's a good idea. You already know I have feelings for you, and I don't want to get hurt."

"I won't let you get hurt." She moved close to him and pecked his lips, running a hand through his hair. "I'll do that thing you like." His eyebrows rose.

"Wait, which thing?"

"I guess you'll never know, since you want me to leave." She turned away, but he took her hand. An inward smile made her feel hope once more, and she knew she had him right where she wanted him. He turned her around and pushed his tongue between her lips, she sighed.

He stepped out of his pants, which were already around his ankles, and pulled her towards his bedroom, renewing the kiss. She sighed into his mouth, but he stopped their movement next to the bed. He pulled away and looked into her eyes, making sure she was serious about what they were doing.

She undid the tie at her waist, kicking off her shoes and pulling her wraparound dress open to reveal her body to him, her black lingerie. He smiled and kissed her once more, pushing the dress off her shoulders before lying her down upon his bed. He kissed down her chest, unclasping her bra and tossing it to the floor as his lips continued to move to her thong.

He took her panties off as well and began pulling her stockings from her legs. She was glad he was going quickly. There would have been a chance she would stop him and run away if he had been slow, and perhaps he knew that. Perhaps he could tell that she was using him, and she was. No matter what she told him, she was using him to relieve her sexual frustration.

She turned him over and pulled his boxers down his legs, positioning herself over his body to prepare their connection. He met her eyes, and she felt guilty. Through every other emotion that was coursing through her veins, guilt was right in the front of her mind. She stopped herself, looking into his eyes. It would have been a terrible thing for her to do if she didn't follow through with what they were doing. She had seduced him after all.

Her hand grasped him, and he bit his lip. Slowly, she lifted her hips and allowed him to slip into her. Once he was fully inside her, she leaned down and pressed a kiss on his lips. She didn't move, not yet. She wanted to add some sweetness to the moment.

Will always did that when they were together. He always made sure he kissed her a lot and caressed her skin before, after, and during the course of their love making. She sat up, scraping her fingernails down his chest before lifting her hips and slamming down on his erection.

"Oh, Karen…" The words escaped his lips in a whisper as she continued to move on top of him, already speeding up the pace by the moment. She flexed her lower muscles around him and moved a bit more back and forth. His hands cupped her breasts, his thumbs touching her nipples before he pulled her close against his stomach.

He rolled them over, lifting one of her legs closer to her chest from behind her knee to find deeper penetration. She wrapped her other leg around his waist and met his thrusts. Her breathing was heavy, and she felt her body tensing beneath his. His lips teased her neck, and she felt his teeth playfully biting her heated flesh.

He was good, very good. His hips moved in a tantalizing pace to meet hers, so sensual. She remembered how she loved him so many years ago, before the cheating and fighting. His fingers ran through her dark hair, and she felt herself beginning to give in to his body. His lips moved to hers, and their tongues connected.

She sighed and her body began to shake before she completely let go. The warmth of her orgasm splashed throughout her stomach and she bit his lip at the feeling. He came quickly after her, filling her and pulling her hair a bit. He moaned in her ear, and she smiled at the fact that he sounded like that because of her.

He pulled out and lay on his back beside her. The heat of his body was lost too quickly for her liking, and she realized how quickly their encounter had ended. She got what she wanted, an orgasm, but it wasn't the same as it was with Will. He could make her body convulse and her vision go black. He could make her eyes roll back into her head and her toes curl, but it wasn't as intense with Steve. It wasn't even close.

"Do you want me to leave?" Her words came in a whisper, and he rolled over to pull her back to his stomach.

"I want you to stay." She nodded and placed her hand over his, looking at the way their skin contrasted. His was the same color as hers, perhaps a bit darker, but it didn't look right. Her skin against Will's made her feel warm, as if it was supposed to be that way. His tanned hands contrasted perfectly with the paleness of her own flesh, and she would never forget how soft they were.

She allowed Steve to hold her close as she tried to sleep. She tried to stop thinking of Will only to have him invade her dreams.


	25. Chapter 25

"I'm glad you stayed for breakfast. Maybe we could laze around here today. You know, if you want to."

"Sure, honey. Sounds great." Her voice lacked enthusiasm, but she didn't think he noticed. She took another bite of her cereal, cringing a bit at the bland taste. Will could cook, and she always admired his way with food. It was so much better than a bowl of cereal.

He took her bowl from in front of her and placed it in the sink. It bothered her a bit when he didn't begin to wash the dishes; he only left them for later. However, she shook it off and stood from her chair, adjusting a pair of his shorts she was wearing and his shirt that came over her thighs. She felt comfortable, but ridiculous all at the same time.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her into his living room area. She sat on the couch as he turned on the television and took a seat by her side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. It all felt too casual to her. It was as if they had entered a time warp, and they were suddenly married and twenty years old again. Oddly enough, she could see herself feeling comfortable, except for the stomach ache she had been experiencing for almost a week.

If she began a relationship with Steve, they didn't have to change much about themselves. They already knew each other so there was no need to go through the routine of a first time meeting. She hated to admit that it was tempting to just stay with him, remain in a comfortable situation, but there would always be something missing. She didn't want him, she wanted Will. He was all she could think about, and she wanted that to just stop. For her sanity, she needed it to stop.

"Karen?"

"What?" She jumped, turning to meet his eyes.

"I asked what you were thinking about."

"Nothing."

"Do you regret coming over last night? Is something wrong?"

"I'm just sick to my stomach, that's all. I don't regret anything." She smiled, and it seemed to ease his mind. Too bad it didn't change hers.

----------

"Damn it." The pregnancy test was a strange purple color, obviously a fluke. She tossed it in the trashcan and ran her hands through her hair. Perhaps she was only paranoid. Her period was only four days late, but she was worried.

She had slept with Steve two nights before so she knew who the father would be. She looked at herself in the mirror and shook her head at the meaningless woman staring back at her. She didn't want a child, simply wasn't prepared for all the things it would mean. Her heart was too selfish.

"Karen, why didn't you show up at work today?" She met Grace's eyes through the mirror. She had been using her key to enter the manse ever since the night she left her husband, and sometimes Karen wished she had taken it back. She shrugged, sighing.

"I might be pregnant."

"Wow." Grace closed the bathroom door behind her and walked closer. "I didn't even know you were seeing anyone."

"I'm not." She felt like a slut, even though that wasn't the case at all.

"Oh." Grace paused, and she could tell she was judging her. "Do you know who the father is?"

"I'm not even sure if I am, yet. But, yes, I know who it would be." She turned around to face her friend. She was scared, her heart pounding in her chest. Fear was unwelcome in her body and she needed help. She needed a friend. A shiver ran down her spine, and she could feel her bottom lip quiver a bit. "Grace, I don't sleep around."

"I know." She moved closer to Karen and pulled her into a hug, feeling as if she needed it. She held to her friend, her boss, while tears threatened to fall.

"Oh, honey, I'm too old to have a baby. And he doesn't even want to be with me. What am I going to do, Grace?" She pulled away and held the redhead by the shoulders. After years of holding her emotions and feelings inside, she needed to let something out. She was tired of feeling numb and helpless.

"Have you told him?"

"Not until I know. I may be cold, but I'm not a complete bitch."

"Who is it?"

"It's…" She almost said it. It almost just slipped from her lips, but she stopped herself in time. "Nobody you know, honey."

There was silence for a moment. Neither knew what to say, what the next step in their conversation should be. Grace wasn't used to seeing such a side of Karen, so open and vulnerable. She wasn't sure if she should just leave or continue trying to help. It wasn't like Karen to want to talk about anything, but she felt that leaving wasn't the right thing to do at that point.

"Listen, I'm going to call Will and tell him I'm staying over. Is that okay?"

"Please, Grace. I'd like that. But don't tell him why." As Grace left the room she allowed herself a quick cry. She wasn't holding too many of the cold stereotypes of a socialite, but crying in front of Grace was not an option. Crying was not an option. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and met her friend in her bed, where she allowed her guard to fall and she received comfort. She allowed the soft words to be spoken into her ear until she slept.

And the next morning after the doctor confirmed that she was two and a half months pregnant, she allowed Grace to see her cry. And yet, life went on.


	26. Chapter 26

She lifted her shirt and looked at her stomach in the mirror, turning to the side. It was never exactly flat, and the fact of her pregnancy didn't show. She barely believed that it was true, if it hadn't have been for the distress she felt at the doctor's words.

She turned her body a bit more, attempting to suck in the fat so she could see something, but she wasn't at all showing. Two and a half months pregnant. Meaning, she was pregnant with Will's child while she was still with him, and while she had rushed to her ex-husband's bed.

Wondering what kind of mother she would make, she pulled her shirt down and hurried to her mini-bar. She pulled out all the bottles of alcohol and took them to her bathroom, where she opened each individual bottle and poured all the liquids down the sink. It was more symbolic than actually necessary, but it was her silent pledge to herself that she was going to stop drinking, besides the occasional glass of wine with dinner.

She left the empty bottles on the counter before she decided to go through her cabinet of pills. She found things from antidepressants to intense pain killers, none of which she needed. Her fingers opened the caps on each of the bottles and she began pouring everything into the toilet.

Rosario had ridded the rest of the house, but her room was left for her. She emptied everything out, and she suddenly felt lighter. It only lasted a moment, just until she remembered that she had to tell Will. There was no other option for her.

She could've aborted the pregnancy, never knowing her child and never having to tell, but she just couldn't. The fact that she might never have another chance to carry a child of her own weighed a lot on her mind. Ever since she could remember she had carried the thought of a baby in the back of her mind. She couldn't destroy that chance since she finally had it.

Everyone thought she hated children, but the truth was she was afraid she would never bear one. It was easier for her to tell herself that they were disgusting and worthless than dwell upon the thought that she might never experience motherhood firsthand. And she was getting that chance. Even though the situation wasn't exactly conventional, she was silently happy.

There were details to work out. She had to tell Will, first and foremost. He was the biggest detail in her mind. If he wanted to raise the child with her, which she already knew he would, then they needed to decide how to tell everyone. Vince would be heartbroken, and she felt very badly for that, but she was more worried about how Jack and Grace would take the news of their friends' sexual encounters.

In reality, they had spent countless time in one another's beds for almost twelve months before he called it off, and she knew that the amount of time they lied would be the biggest issue with their friends. Their friendships had always, for the most part, been based on truth. It wouldn't have been such a big deal that she lied, but Will was always honest with everyone. The thought of him doing something deceitful would surly surprise them just as much as why he was doing it.

Yes, there were a lot of things to think through. There were many details to work out, but she didn't want to think about it too much. She was going out with Steve, hoping to let him know that they couldn't be together. He would be angry, she knew, and she was prepared for him to never want to speak to her again. But she couldn't go on living in a strange love-hate-relationship with him. It never worked, and she wanted to stop it before they hurt each other like they did so many years ago. She wanted to do things differently.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Have you told him yet?" She met Grace's eyes from her desk, and she shrugged. If she had to be honest, she hadn't had the time to tell him just yet.

"No, honey, I think I'm going to wait for a little while."

"Why? That's an awful thing to do, Karen. He has the right to know."

"I want to make sure I'm going to be able to carry this thing before I tell everyone about it." Grace walked over to her desk and took a seat on the edge. Their eyes were still connected in a friendly embrace, and she reached for Karen's hand.

"Are you worried? I mean, about the baby."

"I don't know." She sighed, unsure of whether or not she should open her mind to such things. She had tried to stay clear of negative thoughts, even though she clearly knew the odds of her ability to carry a child decreased with her age and the abuse she had put upon her body for so many years. "I miscarried when I was married to Steve, and my body was young then. I didn't drink much, and I hadn't done any drugs. But now I have really killed my body, honey."

"The doctor said everything was fine when we went."

"But he can't predict the future, Grace." She looked down to her lap, disconnecting their hands. She shook her head of the thought, before standing from her chair. "Now, let's stop talking about this. The damn thing is weighing on my bladder like a cement block."

"When are you going to tell him?" She stopped her journey to the bathroom and turned to face her friend once more. It was important to her, for some reason, so she felt the need to answer.

"How about when I reach three and a half months I'll tell him? That's three weeks from tomorrow."

"Sounds good." She smiled and waved her hands towards her assistant. "Now, go pee." She rushed to the bathroom, eliciting a smile from Grace.


	27. Chapter 27

She pulled another piece of bread from her peanut butter sandwich and took it between her lips. She hadn't eaten such a thing since she was just starting out on her own and flat broke. Oddly enough, it was all she had been craving for days. She sighed and closed her eyes as her senses reacted to the taste, causing a look of confusion to come over Rosario's face.

"Lady, you're making noises that shouldn't be caused by a sandwich."

"Shut up, Guacamole…"

"What's with you? Even your racist nicknames suck here lately." She walked over to her employer and bent to look into her eyes, questioningly. She took another bite of her sandwich, thinking for a moment.

"Sit down, Rosie." She told her maid about the baby, about her fooling around with Will, and she also spoke of what the future might hold for them. She was thinking about moving out, finding a smaller place. "That would mean I'd have to let most of the staff go. In fact, honey, I would only want you to come in a couple times a week. Would you do that, if I decide to move?"

"Wow." The maid was obviously in shock about all the things that were suddenly going to change. "Miss Karen, are you happy about this?"

"Well, its happening so I might as well embrace it." She finished her sandwich and took a sip of her tea. "Oh, Rosie, would you make me another sandwich?" The maid smiled and patted her friend, and employer, on the shoulder before preparing another sandwich.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I love this place, Karebear! You should get this one!" Jack spun around in circles in the middle of an apartment they were viewing. She only told him she was moving, not why. There were still two weeks left before she had vowed to tell anyone about her pregnancy, besides Grace and Rosario, and she wasn't quite ready to break the news to her Poodle. He wouldn't be able to keep it a secret even if she did tell, and she did not need Will connecting the dots before she had a chance to tell him.

"That's what you've said about every one we've seen today. Also, why would I get a place that's so…cold?"

"You can turn up the heat." She giggled and took his hand in hers.

"No, honey, it just feels strange in here. I want to find a place that makes me feel happy and like I'm at home. Does that make since?"

"Like, when we go to Will's apartment to hang out, and it feels warm and cuddly?"

"Yes, like that." She felt a small wave of sadness creep into her mind at his words, but she shook it off. There wasn't time to stay stuck on the past when the future was in need of planning.

----------

Will rolled over and watched Vince as he slept next to him. A sigh escaped his lips, and he immediately rolled away. After making love with Karen, being with a man wasn't the same. Either way he enjoyed being the dominant one in the situation, rarely allowing a man to take him. The sex wasn't the reasons he chose men anyway, he just knew the relationship would lack the dramas it would have with a woman. It would be easier.

But it wasn't. Vince was a basket case ever since he lost his job, and he was always lazing around the apartment. He didn't love him, barely liked him anymore. And that was when he knew he had made a mistake in stopping his affair with Karen.

He didn't love her; at least he didn't think he did. He wasn't sure what love was exactly. It was definitely possible that they could fall in love if they actually dated and got to know each other better, but it was always about sex with her. Every time he looked at her, all he wanted to do was bend her over and take her without discretion, but he always held himself back.

Even though he knew that he ended their affair, he wished he would have continued seeing her. Vince wasn't at all what he expected and he shouldn't have rushed to make such a quick decision to end what they had. It was twisted, but oddly beautiful.

He needed to talk to her. If he could only find the words he needed to say.


	28. Chapter 28

She heard her phone ding from across the room, and turned her head towards the sound. She had been looking at her stomach once more, lifting her shirt to see if anything was happening. Her stomach looked tighter, but she could only see a small bump. It just looked like she was bloated.

After pulling her shirt over her stomach, she walked to her bed where her cell phone lay. She looked at the screen and paused when she noticed that she had received a text message from Will. She pressed the 'open' button and swallowed hard.

_Come over_

She was confused. Why would he want her to come over? It was too reminiscent of the messages they would send during their time together, and she felt butterflies overtake her stomach.

_Why?_

She waited, taking a seat on the edge of her bed until he responded. She kicked her shoes off her feet for a moment and pulled her legs beneath her. If Will wanted her to come over to sign legal papers then he would have called her, and it would have been simple and easy. There was something unnerving about his sudden text message, and she wasn't prepared for his answer.

_I want you_

Her eyes widened, and she looked around the room, as if somebody else would be looking over her shoulder. Her breath was strained for a moment, and she needed to gain composure. There was no way he was talking about getting her into his bed again, it couldn't be true.

She decided to go to him, but not for a quick rendezvous. She needed to talk to him. It was a little earlier than she planned to tell him about the baby, but she felt that she needed to. After slipping back into her shoes she took her coat from her chair, sighing before having Driver take her to Will's apartment.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The familiar ride in the elevator to the ninth floor made her nervous. Her expensive shoes tapped against the carpet of the apparatus as the doors opened. She passed Jack, who was sitting at his table in the hallway.

"Hi Poodle. How's business?"

"Oh, it's fair." He smiled and stood to peck her cheek. "What are you doing here?"

"Will asked me to look over some legal papers, and a whole bunch of lawyer stuff. It's going to be boring." She pouted her lip, and vaguely noticed that she was already lying again to cover for meeting Will. Nothing had happened between them, and she already felt the need to lie.

"That's dumb. I'm going to boy bar and scoring. Love ya." He smiled and walked into the elevator, not even worrying about cleaning his table. She sighed and knocked upon Will's door. It immediately opened, and he met her eyes.

She smiled a bit, and he gestured for her to enter as he closed the door behind her. She sat her purse on the table and turned to find his eyes studying her. Neither really knew what to say, what was necessary to begin a conversation. It was awkward, no doubt about it, but it also felt familiar.

"Karen, I'm breaking up with Vince tonight."

"I thought you were getting along." She was shocked, to say the least. The way she had pictured the future was with her as a single mother, and Will with Vince. He was gay, and he belonged with a man. At least, that was what she thought to be logical.

"I realized that I've been going out with him for all the wrong reasons."

"And?"

"And I want you." He walked closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. "That is, if you still want me." She sighed, placing her hands upon his shoulders. It felt so right to be so close once more.

"I can't just be an easy fuck for you, Will. I refuse to do it that way again."

"It was never like that, and you know it. I want you to be my lover." She began to tell him about the baby, straight up, but his lips brushed against hers, and she didn't have the strength to push him away. It felt too right for her to stop him.

His tongue traced her bottom lip before entering her mouth, and she pulled him closer with her arms around his neck. His body felt so muscular and tight against hers, but soft and warm. He molded to her as if they were two pieces of a puzzle.

She took control of their situation and gently pushed him to a seated position on the couch, straddling his lap as his hands pushed her skirt over her thighs. His fingers caressed the bare flesh of her buttocks before tugging at the straps of her thong. She sighed as she began moving her kiss over his cheek, down the flesh of his neck.

Her fingers were fast to reach the hem of his shirt, and she took her lips away long enough to pull the clothing over his head. Her hands immediately found his chest as she memorized the curves of his body, the muscles. He had been working out, and she could feel it beneath her palms. His fingers lifted her shirt from her body, and his lips found her neck. She gasped as his teeth bit into her skin.

She pulled him away from her neck and kissed him roughly on the lips, running her fingers through his hair. He trailed her bra straps down her shoulders before running his hands over her thighs once more, feeling the lace of her stockings. They were interrupted by the squeaking of the front door and a gasp of surprise. They pulled away from one another's lips, swollen from their deep kiss, and came to face Vince.

She gasped and hurried to stand, halfway listening as Will gave an explanation for their current position. She pulled her shirt on and covered her thighs with her skirt. She was embarrassed, and she felt terrible for the fact that Vince had to see something so hurtful. He had lost so much, his job and suddenly his relationship. She felt that she was the one to blame.

She took her purse from the coffee table and began to walk towards the door, but Will placed a hand upon her stomach to hold her behind him. He didn't want her to go, but she felt out of place. The conversation, the argument, all of it stopped and Vince turned to leave just as quickly as he had appeared.

"I think I should leave, honey."

"No, don't go." He pressed his hand to her cheek. "We can talk; catch up on what we've missed."

"We got a little carried away earlier. That shouldn't happen again, if I stay."

"It won't if you don't want it to." She nodded, curious as to why he wasn't very bothered by the fact that his relationship had just ended. He was just focused on her. But, if she had to be honest, she liked that. It made her feel important, if only for the time being.

"Will…" She licked her lips, but couldn't continue. How could she possibly tell a gay man that she was pregnant with his child? She sighed, shaking her head.

"What?" He moved his face to meet her hazel eyes. She took his hand in her own and lifted her shirt, placing his palm against the tightened flesh. Her gaze was hard, and she could see him slowly grasping the situation.

His fingers moved and met his other hand as he placed each of his palms against her stomach. He could feel how tight it was, and he could tell that she was gaining a bit of weight as he observed her. Their eyes met, and he softly smiled.

"Are you upset?" He pulled her into an embrace, running his hands across her back.

"Oh, Kare, this is great." Tears fell down her cheeks, she couldn't control them. Her fears were put to rest at his words. Her mental image of the future completely changed, and she saw them raising their child together. She felt blissful, if only for the present time.


	29. Chapter 29

She placed a gentle kiss to his shoulder, her fingers caressing his upper arm. Her red fingernails contrasted brightly with his dark skin as she pressed her naked body against his back, hoping to wake him. His alarm was set for six, but she turned it off so she could wake him more sweetly. It was too great of an experience to be ended with the loud screeching of a clock.

"Wake up, honey." Her lips moved to his neck, and she felt his body coming to life beneath her hands.

"You wore me out. I have to sleep." His voice was deep, and his whisper did justice in maintaining the gentleness of the rainy morning. He rolled over and faced her, kissing her lips. "I should just stay home."

"But if you stay home, I would have to stay too. You wouldn't want me to skip out on work, would you?" She smiled as he pulled her closer, cuddling her to his chest.

"You mean, painting your nails and looking through magazines for something you don't have?"

"Well, somebody has to do it, honey." He chuckled and placed a kiss to her forehead before standing from the bed and sifting through his closet for his outfit. She leaned up on her elbow and watched his naked body, so soft and muscular. "Plus, Grace has been begging me to know who the father is."

"Grace knew before me?" He turned and met her eyes.

"She walked in on me trying to figure out the pregnancy test, and then insisted on taking me to the doctor. Besides, I couldn't exactly lie to her."

"Do you want me to tell her?"

"Would you be more comfortable with that?" He walked closer and sat on the edge of the bed, laying his clothes at the foot.

"Why don't I invite Jack over tonight, and I'll make sure Grace is home, and we can tell them together."

"Where was she last night?" He shrugged and stood once more.

"A date, I think." She pulled the comforter back and slid out of bed, standing in front of him. He smiled at the fact that they were so comfortable with one another, no matter how much time had passed since they were together the last time. "Care to join me in the shower?"

"Do you even have to ask?" She smiled brightly as he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her straight into the air, carrying her to his shower.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Will knocked me up." Her words shocked her, and she couldn't believe she had just blurted it out. Everyone had been so passive, not at all concerned about anything. Will didn't seem like he was going to bring it up any time soon, so her lips moved before her mind could catch up. All eyes were on her, making her terribly uncomfortable. She looked at Will, and he was equally as shocked. He took her hand in his beneath the table. Jack and Grace looked to Will for a response.

"Well, I did."

"Ew." Jack's voice broke the tension a bit, thoroughly disgusted. He dropped his fork onto his plate and stood. After a moment of shaking off the thought, he took Karen's hand and led her to his apartment to talk. Will and Grace sat staring at one another for a long while. She was obviously hurt by the confession, he could see it in her eyes, and he wasn't sure how to control the situation.

"Will, I can't believe you."

"It just sort of happened."

"You mean, you slipped and fell?" She smirked and took a sip of her drink. Her eyes never left his as he awaited her full reaction.

"No, I mean, we didn't exactly plan it." Then he had to think. "Well, I actually went to her manse one night because I felt something when we kissed a while before."

"When did this happen? Why didn't I know?"

"We were together for a year, but we haven't been for the past three months. We didn't tell you or Jack because we were just fooling around."

"And now you have to suffer the consequences for the rest of your life, all because of her." She stood and began to walk into her bedroom, but Will stopped her.

"This is not a consequence, it's a good thing. Maybe it wasn't planned, but I love the idea of having a baby with her. And it's not _because_ of her that this happened, we are equally at fault for this."

"Do you love her?" He sighed, unsure of what to say. He didn't think he did, but there were many things that led him to believe that he could love her. It was such a touchy subject in his mind, and he wasn't quite ready to let it out.

"I'm not sure." She nodded and patted his cheek with her palm.

"Well, I guess all I can do is support you, then." Her voice was quiet, uncertain, but he believed her when she spoke. He could tell that it wouldn't be easy for her to support them, but she was going to try. They had all supported her with her marriage to Leo, even though she was sure that none of them agreed it was the right thing to do. She felt it was the least she could do to give them the same respect.

----------

"Karen, how could you? Why wasn't it me?"

"What?" Her eyes grew wide with shock as he closed the door of his apartment behind them. "Poodle, you want to fuck me?"

"No, but I wanted you to at least want to fuck me." He pouted and crossed his arms over his chest, turning his head away. She rolled her eyes at how childish he was acting. She could have only imagined the serious conversation Will and Grace were having, but hers and Jack's always seemed to border on two children. It was actually quite playful, in its own way. "Come on, Karen, I thought we were better friends than you and Will."

"You're crazy. Honey, we didn't plan anything, it just sort of happened. And I don't want you to be angry, because it really doesn't make much of a difference. I want you to be with me through my pregnancy and…"

"I'm always going to be here. You don't have to justify it to me, okay. Just, stop hiding things from me." She moved closer to him and placed a hand upon his chest, meeting his deep blue eyes.

"I promise no more secrets." And she meant that as sincerely as she could.


	30. Chapter 30

She was showing, and it made her smile. Finally she had reached five months. She wasn't sure why it was such a big deal to her, but she couldn't wait for her pregnancy to show. Her shirt was lifted over the still small bump as she stood in front of her mirror, observing her stretching skin. Suddenly, her door burst open and Will walked into her bedroom. She pulled her shirt back over her stomach and watched as he walked into her closet.

"What's going on, honey?" She followed him, watching as he pulled a suitcase down from a shelf. It was her smaller one, and she wasn't sure what his intentions were.

"I'm kidnapping you. Pick one pair of clothes to come back in."

"Where are we going?"

"To your cabin in Vermont."

"This time of year? Will, its freezing out there." He shrugged and walked over to place a kiss upon her lips.

"Just do as I say. Pick an outfit."

----------

As soon as the door closed, he sat their bags down and took her coat. He lit a fire while she went to the kitchen to find glasses for the bottle of grape juice they had purchased, since she couldn't drink at the moment. She filled the glasses and walked into the same room as Will, watching as he finally got the fire going a bit.

"What are we doing here?" She really was curious. The drive to the cabin had been filled with conversation that didn't involve their trip, and she was ready to find out why they had ventured so far a way from home. The warmth of the fire began to touch her face as she sat upon the soft couch, placing the glasses on the coffee table.

"Can't I take the mother of my baby away for the weekend?"

"I want to know the real reason. You're treating me like we're dating." She giggled as he took his shirt off, folding it and putting it in his bag.

"Shouldn't we at least try?"

"Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean we have to be a couple. It doesn't have to work that way." He kicked off his shoes and took his socks and pants off as well. "What are you doing?"

"Didn't you tell me a while back that your fantasy is being naked as long as you can, having sex as many times as you can? I plan to screw you senseless all weekend." She laughed as he pulled off his boxers and walked over to stand in front of her. Her eyes wandered down his body, observing him.

"Honey, I'd like that a lot." She smiled and stood, close to his body. "Where would you like to start?" He shook his head.

"This is about you. Where would you like to start?" She smiled, thinking for a moment what her next move should be. He raised his eyebrows in question, leaning a bit closer.

"Here." She took him in her hand, causing him to gasp as she slowly began to stroke him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They stood in front of the refrigerator, his chin rested atop her head as they shared a large, fuzzy blanket. After hours of making love they decided to eat something. She had called one of the people who had taken over for Cook, since he passed, and there were many different kinds of items upon which they could snack.

"What do you want?"

"You." She smiled as he began nibbling at her ear, placing kisses along the back of her neck. She chose a jar of banana peppers and began to move them back towards the couch. His belly brushed against her back before she stepped out of the blanket and took a seat on the couch. "Banana peppers? That's not very sexy."

"Maybe not, but you had your choice of food, and you didn't say anything." He smiled and moved to lye on top of her, in between her legs. She lay back against the arm of the cushy couch as he laid his head against her chest, pulling the blanket over them.

"Has it started moving yet?" She ate a pepper and shrugged.

"Not that I can feel. Of course, I'll tell you when it does." He placed kisses on her chest, moving between her breasts.

"When's your next appointment?" She sighed as his hand moved between her legs, placing her jar of peppers on the table behind her.

"Thursday at ten." His lips moved over her stomach and slowly met his fingers. She gasped as he kissed her lower lips, his tongue jetting out to touch her. Her stomach had been warmed and cooled many times that night, and she knew they were both getting sleepy. He moved slowly, sensually until she felt herself beginning to boil. She bit her lip as he kissed back up her body, knowing she would want to come together. It surprised her how well he knew her, and how he always knew exactly what she wanted.

He rolled her onto her side and pulled her hips back before pushing into her center. She grasped the back of his hair, turning her head to kiss him full on the lips. He smiled into her mouth when he tasted the heat of the peppers she had recently consumed. As his hips began to thrust, she slid the arch of her foot over his in a seductive manner.

"When do we…find out what it is?" His words were interrupted by the power of his thrusts, and she could barely hear him through their staggered breathing.

"Next time."


	31. Chapter 31

A girl. She had always been able to see herself as having a baby boy, but the idea of having a little girl was beginning to grow on her. It just sounded right, somehow. Only two days had passed since she received the news from the doctor, and the lightness had yet to leave her mind.

Jack's fingers grasped hers as they continued to walk down the sidewalk. It was cold, and her coat wasn't helping as much as she would have liked. He looked at her and smiled, swinging their connected hands in a childlike fashion.

"Are you cold?"

"Yeah, honey, let's get some hot tea, or something." She pulled him into a nearby coffee shop and immediately felt relief. The place was warm, and a deep breath escaped her lips at the feeling.

"Since when do you drink tea?" She shrugged as they sat at a table with their hot beverages.

"Well, coffee isn't really good for you, you know? Plus, I heard somewhere that caffeine isn't the best thing for the kid."

"'The kid.' You make it sound like you aren't even attached to her." He laughed and took a sip of his hot cocoa. "Did you read that in a book?"

"No, it's just something I heard. I haven't actually read any books, so I don't know how true it is."

"Oh, really? I just assumed you had since Will is." He watched a cute man in a business suit walk past, looking after him to check out his backside. "He looks like he could use some Jack."

"Wait, Poodle, Will's reading baby books? When did that start?" She could tell he was barely paying attention, still watching after the attractive business man.

"I don't know. Listen, I'm going to follow that guy." He stood and placed a kiss upon her cheek. "I'll call you later, okay."

"Sure." He didn't hear her response, and she was left alone in a heated coffee shop as the rain began to pour. She groaned a bit, scrunching her nose at the weather. When she was a child, the door of the storm cellar lost a board. She and her sister witnessed the destruction of a tornado as it took down the neighbors' home, never touching their own property. They were safe, but she had always had a feeling of dread in her stomach when a storm drew near.

Suddenly, an odd, fluttering feeling overtook her stomach. She thought it was only her uneasiness about the weather, but it was different. Then it happened again. She jumped and placed her hand to her swollen bump. It was moving. She smiled and lifted her head to look around the room, but nobody was paying her any attention. She sighed and stood to leave when the lights went out.

She didn't like that at all. It was bad enough that it was going to storm, but the idea of being stranded in the dark was a whole different problem. The dark was worse than the sound of thunder rumbling in the distance.

"Karebear…" She turned around to find Jack, barely visible, standing in front of her.

"I thought you were chasing that guy." He shrugged and fixed her scarf around her neck a bit.

"He and I are going out for dinner tonight, you know, if we get power back. And I know how you feel about storms." She smiled. Many times she felt that he didn't really care for her, only her money, but then other times led her to realize that he was a good friend.

"Well, let's get out of here. I need to go to Will's because, honey, I felt the baby move." He smiled and put his hand on her stomach, pressing a bit. A moment passed, but nothing happened. He faked a frown, but took her hand and they walked outside to wave down a cab.

----------

"Poodle, you just met this man, like, two hours ago, and you're already going to his place?" She sat on his bed as he finished dressing and primping for his date with a man named Allen.

"That's where I was planning on ending the date. It saves on cab fare." He winked, but she only rolled her eyes and stood from his bed.

"Well, have fun. I'm going to see what Will is up to." She waved her farewell and walked across the hallway to Will and Grace's apartment. After a quick knock, she rolled her eyes and decided to just walk in. There was no point in being polite when they were in the given situation. It didn't really matter. He was seated on the couch reading a book, naked. She smiled and raised her eyebrows as he covered himself with the pages.

"Karen, I didn't know you were coming over."

"Would it have made a difference, honey?" She sat next to him on the couch and kissed his cheek. "I'm here to take your clothes off anyway." He moved to kiss her lips, his more proper greeting. "I felt the baby move today."

"You did?" His eyes widened, and his hand was quickly pressed to her stomach, but nothing happened. She hadn't felt it move since the first time, but she desperately wanted to share it with Will. "Has it moved since?"

"Well, no, but I know that's what it was. It was so strange, honey. It was like something ran across my stomach." He chuckled at how excited she seemed and leaned forward to place a kiss upon her lips, more tenderly than before.

"You going to stay over?" She smiled, placing her palm against his cheek. Another storm was rolling through, and she certainly didn't want to go home alone.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else tonight." She pecked his lips and stood. "But right now, I'm hoping you have some good leftovers." He laughed as she walked over to his refrigerator, searching for something that looked good to her. Cravings were becoming worse as the days passed, and she was hoping for a fix.

She suddenly felt his body pressed to her back, and his hands began to move over her breasts. She sighed and leaned her head over his shoulder as he began unbuttoning her shirt. Thunder crashed in the distance, and her body tensed. She raised her head and looked out the window.

"Are you okay?" He stopped his movement and looked into her face, noticing that she wasn't really paying him much attention. Her eyes were focused on the lightning crashing outside. "Are you freaked out about the storm, Kare?"

"No." She pulled away from him and began to button up her shirt. She didn't want him to think she was scared, because she wasn't. She was only nervous, and, to her, there was a big difference. "I'm just really hungry, that's all."

"You are not." He closed the refrigerator and turned her to face him. "You can tell me if it scares you."

"Stop saying that, I'm not scared. I just don't like it." He smiled, in an oddly comforting way. "Damn it, Will, don't look at me like that."

"Let's go to bed."

"Honey…" He silenced her with his kiss, pulling her close. He finished unbuttoning her shirt and pushed it off her shoulders. His lips moved down the front of her chest, between her breasts and over her stomach. He pressed hard against her skin, but felt a pressure upon his lips. He pulled away and smiled, looking into her excited eyes.

"Was that her?" She nodded and he stood to kiss her once more, leading her to his bedroom. She didn't exactly have time to be worried about the storm.


	32. Chapter 32

She brought the fork to her lips, sighing at the taste of the leftover pasta Will had made the night before. His strong fingers pressed on the pressure points in her feet, and she smiled. She enjoyed how attentive he had been throughout her pregnancy, massaging her back and rubbing her feet. He had gone to almost all of her appointments with her, and he even insisted that she sleep over at his apartment on weekends, and most weekdays.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fat." She swallowed her bite of food and sighed. "But that helps, honey, don't stop."

"That never even crossed my mind." He smiled and continued to add pressure to her swollen feet. It had surprised him how quickly her feet had begun to swell. She was a small woman, and her stomach was larger than expected at seven months, but he still couldn't believe the sudden swelling.

"You've been quiet tonight, Will. Is something on your mind?"

"I was just thinking, why don't you just move some of your stuff here? I mean, you're here all the time anyway, and…we might as well live together a little bit if we're going to be parents."

"Are you asking me to move in with you?" She sat her bowl upon the coffee table and took a sip of her red wine. She was allowed one glass, and she was savoring the taste for as long as she could.

"No, never mind." He shook his head and sighed, picking up her bowl and taking it to the kitchen. "I just wanted to make sure you had everything you need when you're here, that's all." He began to wash the dishes, and she struggled for a moment to stand from the couch. Her stomach hindered her ability to move with the same agility she once had.

"Will, you could ask me, if you wanted to." She moved closer and looked into his eyes, showing her sincerity. They had never actually spoken of their relationship, in terms of her pregnancy. He had never said he loved her, neither had she, but they were in an odd agreement about their feelings. She knew that her affection for him ran deep, as did his, but the word 'love' just couldn't escape her lips.

"You know what I'd like to do?" She walked around the counter and smiled, taking his hand in hers.

"No. Why don't you tell me?" He leaned down and kissed her lips, trailing his fingers over her cheek and through her hair.

"I want to take you to a movie." She giggled and pecked his lips once more.

"A movie? Honey, you wouldn't rather let me in your pants?" He laughed as well, and her lips pressed gentle kisses to his neck. He pulled away and smiled before walking her over to the door for her heels and coat.

"Do you know that we've never really been on a date?" She chuckled a bit as she slipped into her shoes.

"That can't be true, honey. Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. And I am taking you to a movie, no choice." She smiled and met his eyes after he helped her into her coat. He took her hand, and they went on their first date together, her seven month pregnant stomach leading the way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The bubbles popped and crackled around her shoulders as she sank deeper into her bath. A few men had just finished redoing her bathroom the day before, and she liked it very much. She was especially fond of the bathtub. It was large enough for her to be comfortable, and tall enough to stay warm in the water.

The smell of vanilla invaded her senses, and she took a deep breath. Relaxation was harder to find as time passed. She had been increasingly stressed, knowing that only two months remained in her pregnancy. Time had gone so quickly, and she didn't feel that they were at all prepared. The nursery was finished, Grace made sure of that, but she hadn't even thought of any names.

She wondered how her daughter would look. Would she have Will's eyes and her nose? And, most importantly, would she have Will's voice? She smiled at her own thought, knowing very well that her voice wasn't exactly soothing.

"Karen?" She sighed when she heard Grace's voice echo throughout her apartment.

"I'm in here!" She yelled in return, hoping there was a good reason her friend was invading her quiet time. When the redhead appeared and smiled as she took a seat on the floor next to the tub. "What do you need, honey? I'm kind of in the middle of something."

"How do you feel about dogs?"

"They're okay, I guess." Her brow furrowed, and she moved so she could fully face her friend. "Why? You didn't get Will another dog did you? You remember what happened las time, honey, the dog went straight to Jack."

"No, I didn't get Will a dog." She stood and rushed from the room, but quickly reappeared with a small bundle of fur in her arms. Karen's eyes grew wide.

"No."

"But he was homeless. I rescued him from the pound, and I don't have time for a dog."

"There is no way in hell I'm going to have time for it. I'm getting ready to pop out a kid, Grace."

"Well, I guess a puppy will give you some practice. I'll bring the stuff I got for him in here." She ignored Karen's continuous words as she brought two bowls and a bag of food into the bathroom, a few toys as well.

"Damn it, listen to me." She slowly stood in her bath and quickly grabbed her towel, wrapping it the best she could around her swollen body. Grace dropped a small doggie bed on the floor as well before trying to leave. Karen's hand firmly grasped her wrist, stalling her departure. "I don't want the thing."

"Well, it's my gift to you. So suck it up, and play with your new puppy." She smiled and pecked her friend's lips before leaving for her own apartment.

Karen stood in shock, and a feeling of anger was playing with the back of her mind. She didn't want a dog. There was never a time in her life where she had to care for an animal, and she didn't feel the need to do so. She was brought out of her thoughts when she felt the small puppy licking the dripping water from her ankle.

"Stop that." She rolled her eyes and pushed it away with her foot. Their eyes met, and the animal's head tilted in question. "You aren't as cute as you think." She dried herself and dressed in a pair of flannel pajamas, the only thing she could wear from before her pregnancy.

She scoffed at her own softness of mind and lifted the puppy into her arms, rubbing its little head. It was adorable; she couldn't deny that, with its brown eyes and soft fur. She wasn't sure of the breed, but she knew by the size of its paws that it wasn't going to get very big at all.

She carried it into the living room with her and lay down upon the couch, turning on the television to watch the news broadcast. The puppy curled into a tiny ball above her belly, over her arm, and she smiled a bit. Perhaps a dog would be a nice addition to her home, as spontaneous as the idea may have been.

"Well, if you're going to stay here, you need a name." She ran her fingers over his face and thought for a moment before giggling a bit. It always amused her when animals had names that were more suitable for humans. "Keith."


	33. Chapter 33

"You little fucker!" Will smiled as he entered Karen's apartment. She was chasing the tiny dog around the room, attempting to get her slipper out of his mouth. Will quickly scooped the puppy into his arms and removed the silk shoe from his teeth, handing it to his lover.

"It looks like you can't move as fast as you used to, Kare."

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes and took her slipper back to her bedroom, closing the door so the dog couldn't return to it. Will placed the small animal on the floor and watched as it bounded into the kitchen. "What are you doing here, honey?"

"I got off work early and I figured we could hang out here tonight. Is that okay?"

"Of course." She moved close to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss. She never used to be the type of woman who liked to kiss; it was just a waste of time. But she simply couldn't resist Will's lips, no matter what she used to think. Perhaps it was only due to her change in mood during pregnancy. "Let's go to bed." Her lips traveled down his neck, biting his flesh. He chuckled and moved her face so he could meet her eyes.

"That's all you ever want to do."

"Honey, are you complaining?"

"No, but I thought we could at least eat first." She rolled her eyes and took a step backwards, shrugging. She noticed a bag of groceries next to the door, and she was thankful that he was the one cooking. There was barely any food in her apartment, and she would only embarrass herself if she tried to cook anything.

She walked into the kitchen and sat upon the counter as he began cooking, occasionally feeding her bites of whatever he was making. She watched his hands move meticulously as he added spices and ingredients to their supper. A sigh escaped her lips, and she leaned across the counter and sat upright once more with a book of baby names in her hands.

"Amanda, Amber…"

"What?" He turned to see about what she was speaking when he saw the book in her hands. A soft smile spread across his face. "Do you have any relatives you thought about naming her after?" She shrugged.

"My grandmother's name was Luise-Marie. I don't really like Luise too much. It sounds too harsh to me. I think it might be German."

"What about Marie?"

"Like the song?" She smiled and slowly hopped down from the counter before walking to get a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Well, I know you like the song. I heard you playing it on the piano the other day." Her cheeks gained a bit of pink and she faced him, shrugging. He remembered his reaction when he had heard her playing that song, and singing. He had never heard her sing before and was amazed at how she sounded. Her singing voice wasn't rude and harsh like her speaking, it was soft and strong, beautiful.

"I'll put the name on my list."

"You have a list?" She walked over to the drawer by her desk and wrote the name on a piece of paper while he stirred some sauce on the stove.

"Well one of us has to do it."

"Hey, I've been thinking about it too. I just haven't thought of anything desirable." She gave him a playful pout before he turned back to face his project upon the stove. She walked close to him and pressed herself against his back, wrapping her arms around his middle. He laughed a bit and rested one of his hands over hers. "Your stomach is so solid." She immediately pulled away and leaned against the counter. "I never said I didn't like it."

"I know, honey. I'm the one who doesn't like it. I don't like being fat."

"Kare, you aren't fat, you're pregnant." She rolled her eyes.

"What the hell is the difference?"

"The difference is, you'll be back to your skinny self once the baby is born." She laughed, perhaps a bit of bitterness enclosed.

"Will, you are so naïve. I will never be the same after this. I'll have to go back on my diet and actually exercise. My ass will get huge and I'll have to start wearing formless stretch pants with tennis shoes and tee-shirts with baby vomit all over them."

"I think you're overreacting." He moved closer and placed a kiss upon her lips, taking her hands in his. "Besides, your size makes no difference to me." She scoffed and fully met his eyes.

"I'm not the only one who's going to suffer, honey. Sex with me won't feel the same either. What if…"

"I know you're worried, but right now the best thing for you to do is relax and be happy. Go read a book, or play with Keith, or you could play me a song on the piano. Find something to help you relax." She placed her hand against his cheek as she walked past him and began to exit the kitchen.

"You're making me wait for the thing that will really make me relax, so I guess I'll settle for literature."


	34. Chapter 34

Jack laid his face against her stomach as the baby repeatedly kicked, unhappy about the pressure he was adding. Karen sighed and placed her hands behind her head, readjusting the pillow upon which she was lying. She and Jack had gone shopping for some baby clothes earlier in the day, and she was exhausted. Her eight and a half month pregnant stomach was heavy, and she had to often sit down in order to catch her breath.

"Hello, little Jessica." Jack pushed against her tightened flesh, speaking to her child. She observed the comforter of her bed, in a sort of daze. She hadn't been feeling too well, and she was ready for a nap.

"That is not her name, Poodle."

"Well, you won't pick one, so I have to go with what I've got."

"I can't choose the right one until I see her. It's between Marie, Janet, and Katherine."

"You need to just make up your mind." He pulled her shirt up over her stomach to reveal her skin. "Oh, gross. You have a stretch mark." She rolled her eyes.

"I know, honey. Just don't talk about it." Will had found the stretched section of her lower stomach a few nights before. It wasn't a large section, and there were only a couple of lines, so she wasn't too disappointed about it. However, she was still upset about the destruction of her body. No matter how much cocoa butter and lotions she had used, the mark still appeared.

"Aw, Mommy is embarrassed about a little mark." He was speaking to her stomach again, but it suddenly sounded intimidating.

"I'm going to be a mom." She saw him look at her with a confused look upon his face, but she was too shocked by her realization to notice.

"Yes, that's usually how it works."

"Am I going to be able to keep this thing alive, honey?"

"Maybe you'll get that maternal instinct that's supposed to happen."

"What if I don't?" She tried to sit upright, but he eventually helped her so she could look into his eyes.

"Then Will might get it." She bit her bottom lip, feeling a surge of nerves rush throughout her stomach. She began to feel a little sicker than before. "Karebear, you don't have to worry. You'll be fine, I promise."

"How do you know? You have no idea what I'm capable of." She stood from the bed, walking to the kitchen so she could get a drink of water. She was suddenly sweating. Jack followed and his arms were soon wrapped around her from behind, his cheek upon her shoulder.

"Maybe you don't know what you're capable of either. Nobody doubts that you can take care of your baby, and I don't think you should either." He held her tighter, but quickly loosened his grip when he heard her gasp.

"Ouch. Oh, honey, I have to sit down."

"What's happening? What's wrong?" He helped her over to a chair at the table, and she doubled over at another rush of pain.

"Oh, shit, I don't know. It hurts."

"What do I do?" His voice was shaky.

"I think I'm in labor."

"No. Your water didn't break, you can't be." He was obviously in a panic, and she rolled her eyes at his high pitched tone of voice.

"It doesn't always break like they show it in movies, Jack. Now, go and get my purse and the green bag under my bed." He rushed off to fulfill his task, leaving her to compose herself enough to put on a brave face for her Poodle.

"Can you walk?" He tossed her shoes on the floor in front of her and she slipped her feet into them, taking her purse from his hands.

"Just help me stand, honey." He did as she said and they walked out the door, only stalling to stop surges of pain, and he hailed a cab to the hospital.

----------

Will sat next to her hospital bed, holding her hand and smiling like a child. She and Jack had arrived an hour before and she was already tired of being in labor. She was only dilated three centimeters, and the doctor had said it looked to be a long process. A contraction pressed hard inside, causing her to clench her teeth and tighten her grip on Will's hand.

"I want an epidural." He laughed. She wanted to slap him for laughing when she was in such pain.

"The doctor said it is too early for that."

"I hate him." He laughed again, and she pulled her hand out of his. "And you. Stop laughing like that. You don't know."

"I don't know what?" She paused, searching for an answer.

"Shut up."

----------

After ten hours of painful labor, Karen gave birth to a baby girl weighing six pounds and nine ounces. She looked just like her, and it made her heart soar. She held her for a few moments before making her decision. Her hazel eyes met Will's, and he smiled as Grace and Jack entered the room to see their new niece.

"What do you want to name her, Kare?" Will leaned down and caressed his daughter's cheek with his finger.

"Marie Elizabeth." She smiled as the baby's eyes drifted closed. "Do you like that?"

"It's beautiful. She's beautiful."

To be continued…


End file.
